Summer After High School When We First Met
by adiannna
Summary: The more she spoke, the more entranced I became. She was beautiful and her voice had this captivating quality about it, but I couldn't figure her out. AU Brittana.
1. LMFAO

"Lucy Quinn Fabray."

She put the cup in her hand down and whipped around so fast her blonde ponytail slapped my neck. She looked past me and saw Puck standing there, leaning on the edge of the bar. He looked different. I was distracted with the whiplash on my neck to look closely at him, but he looked different.

"You're off, Puck. Why are you here?" She looked angry at him, but that wasn't new.

I've known Quinn—also known as Lucy, we all like to remind her of—since I was sixteen years old. I'm eighteen now, so it's been two years, and for two years I have never heard a nice thing leave her mouth about Puck. She never explicitly told me much about him, but from what my good friend Sugar has told me, Quinn had had a baby in high school and he was the father. Quinn preached the Bible like it was the coffee menu so when I heard about that, my jaw literally dropped.

"I'm just here to pick up my paycheck, will you relax?" Crisis averted, and I immediately saw Quinn relax. "But I also wanted to invite you ladies to a party tonight."

Quinn's eyes narrowed. Puck was always inviting us to these "parties" he had or he knew about but I always politely refused while Quinn vehemently refused. Sugar, on the other hand, poked her head from around the kitchen door and said yes before either of us could refuse.

"Brittany you're coming with me!"

The only reason I have this job is because of Sugar. Her parents and my parents go "way back" so we grew up together. I live nearby but, lucky me, my house just missed district lines so I had to go to a different school even though I live closer to Sugar's high school than she does. I love my job and making coffee is just about the only thing I'm good for and I like the people I work with but the thought of going to a party and getting wasted with a bunch of people I don't know sounds like a bad time to me. And new people just don't really get me.

So when Sugar said that, I shook my head so fast my own ponytail was giving me whiplash. I put my hand up to my neck and shook my head. "I don't like parties, Sugar."

"Sure you do!" Sugar's squeaky voice and animated disposition were hard to say no to. "And besides, I bet Sam will be there!"

I could feel my cheeks turn red, but not from embarrassment. Actually I guess it was embarrassment, but not the kind that gives you butterflies. This is the kind of embarrassment you get when your best friend mistakenly believes you have the hots for someone you've known since you were twelve. The last thing I have for Sam Evans is the hots, but Sugar just doesn't comprehend what she doesn't think of herself.

"Who's throwing it?" Sugar asked, leaving the kitchen to join us behind the bar.

"Santana," Puck answered, a devilish smile creeping on his lips.

Quinn whipped around to look at me this time, but I managed to dodge her hair. "No way," she said. "Santana's parties always end with the cops showing up. She almost got arrested last year."

Arrested for throwing a party? Jeez, how crazy must a girl be to throw a party that illicits cop calls? The last party I went to involved makeovers and Broadway musicals.

"I don't know," I responded after taking a breath. Wouldn't it be weird for me to show up to some random girl's house and drink her alcohol? "Wouldn't that be weird? She doesn't know me, so I don't want to intrude."

"Brittany, it's a party," Puck emphasized that last word. "Anyone who wants in gets in."

"Well isn't that the truth," Quinn smirked and Puck gave her a glare. I didn't understand what that meant. "Listen Brittany, Santana is not the nicest girl to be around. She's cruel."

I looked to Sugar for guidance, but she just shook her head yes and looked more like a bobble head than anything else. I sighed. I hated decisions so I usually let someone else decide for me, but with Sugar and Quinn saying a different thing, I felt lost.

"I'll give you a ride," Puck raised his eyebrows at me.

"Alright," I caved. Puck had a really nice car though. "I'll be at Sugar's tonight."

"Awesome!" he chimed, and then went around the bar and through the kitchen to pick up his check from our manager.

Quinn frowned at me while Sugar hugged me then went back into the kitchen. I felt bad for defying Quinn. She usually knows what she's talking about, but Puck has a really nice car. "I'll be careful," I promised her. She just shrugged and picked up the cup from earlier to continue making her coffee.

The door chimed as two elderly women walked in and I stepped up to take their orders.

Puck rolled up to Sugar's house at 9:30. When we went outside to meet him, he was smoking what I thought was a cigarette until I got closer and could smell it.

**xXXx**

"Is that weed?" Sugar asked incredulously. She inhaled and stopped a few feet away from him.

Puck nodded and held his arm out to her, gesturing for her to grab it. Sugar took the joint and slowly took a hit from it, waiting a few seconds before taking another. Then she passed it to me.

I tilted my head to the side a bit before asking "Is it safe?"

Puck widened his eyes. "Have you ever gotten high before?" I shook my head. "Well then take a hit!"

I cautiously took the joint from Sugar's hand. I looked at it for a moment and inhaled the scent. I had never smoked weed before, but my friend Matt smoked it a lot so I knew the smell. It was interesting. It smelled a lot different than regular cigarettes, and it didn't make me feel like I was going to get emphysema from inhaling. I raised the joint to my lips, holding it between my thumb and index fingers. My thought was that I should smoke it like a cigarette, so that's what I did. I inhaled, inhaled again then breathed out. Before I even got one breath out I was thrown into a coughing hit. Puck grabbed the joint from me as I bent over, placing my arm on Puck's car for support. Sugar was having a laughing attack in front of me and I could tell from my few glances at him that Puck was holding back laughter as well. It took a couple of minutes before I was able to breathe evenly and stop coughing.

"That's not like a cigarette," was all I said.

Puck smiled widely at me. "You're supposed to hold it in for as long as you can, then exhale. Otherwise it doesn't really work." He held the joint towards me. "Want to try again?"

I shook my head. "Maybe next time. I don't want Lord Tubbington to know about this." I looked at Sugar and smiled, while Puck just gave me a dumb look.

"Yeah, okay. Let's go."

I let Sugar sit in the front since she was wearing a dress, and climbed in behind Puck. "You know, you look good tonight," was all he said before winking at me then driving off to the party.

Sugar was messing with the radio and I could tell Puck was getting annoyed, so I asked, "Who's house am I crashing again?"

"You're not crashing, Brittany," Sugar said as she settled on a rap song.

"Her name is Santana," Puck answered.

"Like the band?"

"Yeah, but she's way hotter."

"Are you sure she will be okay with me just showing up unannounced?" I asked again. I've been a bit wary about showing up to random people's houses ever since my friend Matt said it was okay if I went with him to this girl's house one night for a "party." It wasn't a very fun party because we were the only three there, and the girl was really rude the whole time. Later on Sugar explained that girl had probably thought it was just going to be her and Matt. Then I understood why she was so mean.

Puck sighed at me and looked at me in the rearview mirror. "Brittany, I know Santana. She won't care. I'll be surprised if she even notices."

Sugar nodded and turned to look at me. "Santana is usually in her own little world."

"Are you friends?" I asked her. I had never heard Sugar mention anyone named Santana before, at least that I remembered.

"Umm," she bit her lower lip and looked up at the roof of the car for a second. "Sort of? We had dance together but we never hung out. Santana is like that girl that everyone hates and loves. That's how Quinn used to be. I think that's why they were best friends. But she's sort of a bitch."

Puck glanced at Sugar when she brought up Quinn and she didn't notice, but I did. Quinn never brought it up, and neither did Puck, so I didn't know what was going on between them now. They usually had different schedules but whenever I did see them together, it usually wasn't pleasant on Quinn's side. I wasn't about to ask, though.

But something Sugar said caught my attention. "Quinn and Santana are best friends?"

"_Were_," Sugar corrected me. She was now fixing her lip gloss in the mirror on the visor. "I don't know what happened but they barely spoke at all this year."

"Santana just told me she and Quinn got into this big fight over summer and that was that," Puck mused then shrugged.

I looked out the small triangle window in the back and saw that Puck had turned off onto a street in the middle of a relatively nice neighborhood. "Swanky," I said to myself. That's when I looked ahead and saw a house that was close to the end that had what looked like to me to be fifty cars parked near it.

Puck parked next to a grassy area of someone's yard a few houses down and we all climbed out. I stood next to the car and adjusted my short that had ridden up my butt and started walking towards the house. Sugar was next to me and Puck was on the other side.

As we drew near to the house, I started to panic a bit because I didn't know any of these people. Meeting new people wasn't that difficult, but when you're at a party with a hundred new people, that was a different story. I stepped onto the grass of this girl Santana's house when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist.

"Hey," a male voice purred into my ear. I turned my head and saw that it was my friend Matt, who had Sam—the Sam I don't have a crush on—by his side. I was happy to see familiar faces.

"Hi!" I chimed as my face lit up. I maneuvered around in his arms to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck. When he let go, I took a step towards Sam and wrapped my arms around him as well. I'm tall for a girl, but Sam is taller and didn't lean down to hug me like Matt did, so I had to stand on my toes to reach him. I felt my shorts crawl up my butt when I did this, and as soon as we let go I reached to pull them back down again. Puck smirked at me. "Did you just get here?" I asked.

"No, we've been here for a bit. We just came out here because I saw you walking up," Matt smiled at me. He was one of my best friends. I think it's helpful to have guy friends who you don't sleep with.

Puck noticed some of his friends and sauntered off towards them, giving us one little wave goodbye. I didn't really care so much now that I had run into Matt and Sam.

"Shall we go inside?" Sugar ventured.

We nodded and followed her in. I figured Sugar had been here before, but I knew neither Matt or Sam knew Santana since we had gone to a different high school.

When we stepped inside, I was in awe. The house didn't look super big from the outside, but when we got inside it was an entirely different world. This girl's house was beautiful. It was decorated like one of French palaces I'd seen in my mom's housekeeping magazines. Everywhere was marble or granite and there were French doors leading into each room and she had one of those houses where you could go up the stairs to the right of the room or the left. There were giant pillars in the middle of the front room and one big, crystal chandelier hanging in between the pillars. I couldn't imagine what on Earth possessed her to throw a party in this home. If I lived here I don't even think I could have guests over because I'd be afraid of the house getting dirty or something exploding.

Sugar grabbed my hand and directed me into the kitchen. My eyes widened when I saw the interior of the kitchen, but I got distracted when I looked at the counters and saw an abyss of alcohol. I swear there was every type of alcohol imaginable inside this kitchen. I knew Santana must only be 18, so I wondered where the heck all this came from. Sugar was pulling me towards the counters and pouring me a shot before I could even blink. I looked past her and saw that Matt and Sam also had shots. I was excited. I liked taking shots because they were quick and easy.

"Cheers!" Sugar shouted and we all clinked our glasses together before downing the shots. Matt and Sam immediately poured two more and downed them within the minute. Sugar giggled and I noticed Matt winking at her. I rolled my eyes. Sugar has been telling me for months to hook her up with Matt and I always brush it off. I wasn't about to be a pimp, especially since Matt had once told me he had a sex dream about Sugar. I grimaced and went to stand by Sam, who was scrolling through his phone.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Of course."

"Is Quinn seeing anybody?" I was everybody's pimp, apparently.

"Umm, no, I don't think so," I shook my head. She had never brought up a boyfriend other than "the time she dated Puck" and some guy named Finn and I was pretty sure she would tell me if she was seeing anybody.

Sam smiled. "I stopped by before your shift started and talked to her for a while. She's cool." _Cool_. Why do boys always use such vague language?

"But it's summertime," I mused and he rolled his eyes at me. I smiled. Sam was easy to joke with.

We stood in silence next to each other while he texted someone—I'm assuming Quinn—until I turned to him. "Do you know where the bathroom is?" He shook his head. "I didn't think so."

I walked away from him and from Sugar, who was too busy making out with Matt now to notice. I wandered past all these people drinking and smoking and talking and making out, careful not to make eye contact in case someone wanted to talk to me. I never made eye contact with people I didn't know. I found myself in a hallway and then saw a door. I tried the handle, but it was locked. I sighed, and leaned against the wall next to the door. I bit my lip and listened to the music that was playing throughout the house. I realized that it was playing that stupid Party Rock Anthem song that I didn't like, so I pulled my phone instead. I had two texts. One was from Sugar saying that Matt was a great kisser and the other was from my sister Breanna asking me where I was. I sent Sugar a winky face and told my sister that I was with Sugar and I would be back sometime before dawn.

After several minutes of texting and listening to Party Rock Anthem, the door to the bathroom remained closed and locked. I frowned and started to walk back towards the front room. I knew there had to be another bathroom somewhere. Normally I would just hold it and wait until I was somewhere else to pee, but I had just gotten over a UTI from doing just that so I definitely did not want to chance another one. I looked at the staircase and wondered if it was okay to go up there. I scanned the front room and saw a bunch of people just chilling, some were on the stairs, so I just decided to head on up.

I walked over to the stairs on the left and stepped around this couple who were ferociously groping and making out. Gross. I don't like PDA. I let my hand glide along the stairwell as I slowly made my way up the stairs. There were quite a few pictures on the wall. There were pictures of a man and a women holding a beautiful baby girl. There were also pictures of a little tan girl in a cheerleader outfit, in various dance outfits, in various Halloween outfits, and near the top there was a single picture of a beautiful girl with tan skin and long dark hair smiling at the camera. I could see the date at the bottom read 2012. This must be Santana, I thought. This must be her senior picture. She looked beautiful. She was wearing a black lacy top with a silver heart necklace. Her dark hair was hanging over one shoulder and her teeth were perfect. She looked perfect, almost like a porcelain doll except she wasn't as fair as one.

"That picture is awful."

I froze. How long had I been looking at this picture? I turned my head to where the voice came from and sure enough the girl from the picture was sitting on the ground against the wall across from the staircase. It is embarrassing to be caught staring at someone's picture, but it didn't seem to faze her.

"You're ridiculous," was all I responded. She gave me a half laugh.

I walked closer towards her. I knew this was her house and her party, so why was she sitting on the floor all alone upstairs? "Why are you up here? Isn't this your party?"

She smirked and took a drink of the beer in her hand. "I didn't throw this party. My good friend Puck threw this party." Of course he did.

I took a few steps toward her. "He invited me tonight."

She took another drink and raised her eyebrow at me. "What's your name?"

"Brittany."

She made an 'ah' face. "So you're the hot blonde from the coffee shop, then. Well I am Santana." She nodded her head towards me.

Suddenly I felt embarrassed and I could feel my cheeks flushing. _The hot blonde from the coffee shop?_ Really, Puck? "He said that?"

She nodded and game me a small laugh. I took a few more steps towards her. I looked at her for a moment. She was more beautiful in person than in her picture. And she had great lips. Then I remembered we were having a conversation "I'm serious, though. How come you're all alone up here?"

Santana sighed and leaned her head against the wall. "I'm bored." She said it simply, like it was obvious.

I scrunched my face and looked at her. I took another step towards her before I gave up and sat next to her on the floor. "Why don't you do something fun, then?" I asked.

"Like what?"

"If I knew, I'd probably be doing it myself." I turned my head towards her and winked. "This party is definitely a drag." I paused for a minute and listened carefully, only to hear yet another LMFAO song. This time it was Sexy And I Know It. "And the music sucks."

"Hey! This is a great song."

"No it isn't." I gave this snort laugh thing that I always give, then instantly regret. I sounded ridiculous when I did it. She just smiled and took another drink.

"So why haven't we met before?" she asked. I was starting to get confused. Both Sugar and Quinn had said that Santana was mean, yet I wasn't seeing anything mean about her.

"I didn't go to McKinley," I told her. "But I've known Sugar forever so I got a job at Elevate and that's how I met Puck."

She nodded her head. "Aren't you a lucky one? Getting to make coffee with Noah Puckerman all day long." She winked at me. I stuck my tongue out at her. She was easy to talk to. I was still extremely confused because she hadn't said one mean thing to me. Well she sort of had, but that comment was directed towards herself so it didn't count. "You work with Quinn, don't you?" she asked me after a moment.

I looked at her, trying to catch her eyes but she was looking down at the ground between us. "Mhm, we usually have the same shifts." I had just learned that Santana and Quinn were not friends, so why was Santana asking about her?

Several people had walked by us. They were mostly drunk or high, laughing about god knows what. A few had stopped a few feet ahead of us to talk or take a drink. One guy was yelling at the top of his lungs about how awesome this alcohol tastes, then he spotted Santana and literally scampered towards the stairs. I think she had given him a dirty look, but I hadn't been paying attention to her. I was shocked that no one had actually stopped to say anything to Santana. This was her house and her party. If I was at someone's house that I knew, I would definitely go say hi or something. But after the loud guy flew down the stairs, I think I had an idea as to why no drunk person wanted to hang around for some chit chat.

"How is she doing?" Santana asked quietly. She still wasn't looking at me. I had almost forgotten she asked about Quinn because she took so long to respond. She was now tracing lines on her jeans. She lightly drew her finger along the seam of her pocket, then looked up at me. She waited for me to respond.

"She's really good. I think. I mean, she's always good when I see her and she's never told me otherwise, and I think she would because we've become friends now and I spent the night at her house last week and she seemed her happy Quinn self." I really didn't think Santana cared about my friendship with Quinn, but I'm a lightweight and one shot is enough to make me giggly.

"That's really good, I'm glad she's doing okay." Santana finished off her beer and reached above to set it on the coffee table next to her. She didn't look like she was going to inquire any more about Quinn, and I wasn't one to pry.

I am one to, however, stick my foot in my mouth. "Quinn told me not to come tonight." As soon as the words left my mouth, I instantly regretted them. Who says that to someone she just met? I was hoping that Santana wouldn't get mad that I said that.

She didn't get mad. She actually laughed out loud. "Of course she did," she giggled. Then she shook her head and turned to look at me. "The last time Quinn came to a party at my house, it was the first day of summer after our junior year. Everyone was here and I mean everyone. It got out of hand before it was even 10 PM and that is early for a Santana Lopez party. I don't really remember much—" she pointed towards the empty beer bottle "—but what I do remember is this fight between Puck and this kid named Kurofsky and it got really bad and bloody and then all of the sudden the cops are here asking who owns the house and threatening to arrest all of us for underage drinking. Quinn literally hid in my closet because the police went through here and kicked everyone out. So since then she vowed to never come to a party here again." She took a deep breath and looked at me, waiting for a response.

The way she spoke was beautiful and the way she moved her lips was like a dance. I had never focused on someone's lips before, but her's were all I could look at when she spoke. I was shocked she told me that. But now when Quinn had said Santana almost got arrested at her parties, I understood what she meant. I looked at her eyes, they were a deep brown color, and opened my mouth. "Well damn if I had been at that party I'd have vowed to never set foot in your house again, party or no party," I said, giving her a slight laugh so she'd know I was just kidding.

She licked her lips and playfully slapped me in the arm. She was laughing along with me. "Yeah, that was a crazy night. I don't want to go through that again. Now when I have parties I just hide."

I looked around us. "You're right here in the open. If we played hide and go seek I would totally win."

She stared at me with this inquisitive look on her face for a moment before cracking a half smile and standing up. She held out her hand to me, which I was surprised about, and helped pull me up. Her hand was incredibly soft. I bet she has some of that really expensive lotion you have to buy off the internet. I got my lotion from Bath and Body Works.

"I need another drink." Santana grabbed the empty beer bottle and headed towards the stairs. I followed her. As we walked down the stairs and through the front room into the kitchen, I noticed that whenever someone noticed Santana, they immediately moved to the side to let her pass. I just assumed it was because this is her house, but it's kind of funny to think about. She was like a queen or something.

When we got into the kitchen, Sugar and Matt were gone, as was Sam. I did see Puck standing in front of the fridge, though.

"Get out of there, Pukerman." Santana spoke with such authority in her voice that a few heads jerked around to look at the two and Puck shut the refrigerator door.

Then he took notice of me. "Sugar wanted me to tell you that she left with Matt."

My lip curled. "That's disgusting."

"She said she texted you but you didn't respond." I pulled my phone out of my pocket and noted the six text messages, all from Sugar. I shrugged. Then Puck stepped closer to me, stepping away from Santana. He spoke so only I could hear. "Be careful around her," was all he said before walking over to the counter to pour himself another shot.

I followed him with my eyes, and Santana was eying me for a moment before she opened the fridge and took out two beers. She opened them on her handy dandy bottle opener that was on embedded into the cabinet—out of place, I might add—and then handed one to me. I took a drink. Then another. Then another.

"If you're that thirsty I can get you something that won't get you wasted," she said. She had scrunched her eyebrows and was staring at me.

I shook my head. "This is good." I looked over at Puck, who had found himself a girl and was attacking her with his lips and hands. Santana had noticed, too, and she had this look of disgust.

We stood in the kitchen for a bit, drinking beer and talking about where she got all the alcohol when Puck sauntered over with his lady friend attached at his hip. "Can you catch a ride with Sam or someone? We want to head out."

"Wow, Puck, at least you bought me dinner before our first time." I could feel the anger and tension radiating from Santana's body. Did anybody actually like Puck?

I think Puck felt it too because he narrowed his eyes at her. She tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows. I'm pretty sure they were having one of those wordless conversations, and I think Puck's lady friend knew it too because she gave me a confused look. Finally Puck started walking towards Santana's front door with the girl still by his side. Before I could finish watching him leave, I could feel Santana's eyes on me. I looked at her.

"Who is Sam?" she asked me. How did she know who Sam was? I had to think for a moment before I remembered that Puck asked if he could take me home.

"He's just a friend," I said. "But he came with Matt who left with Sugar so now I'm not sure how he's getting home..."

Santana gave a loud sigh and glared at the door where Puck exited. "Look if you don't have a ride home, I'll take you. But you're going to have to wait until everyone clears out." She didn't say it like she was exasperated or anything, she was just making a statement. I wasn't sure if inside she was annoyed at the prospect of taking me home. The words she used made me think she was annoyed, but she didn't sound annoyed.

"I can help you clean up," I offered. I didn't want her to be annoyed, so I thought offering her my help seemed like a good idea.

She gave me a smile, and it was probably one of the most earnest smiles I had ever received. "I do have people for that, but you are very kind to offer."

I was secretly elated at the thought of hanging out with her more. The more she spoke, the more entranced I became. She was beautiful and her voice had this captivating quality about it, but I couldn't figure her out. Three people I trusted had said that this girl was a bitch, but here she was hanging out with me at her own party and offering to take me home. It didn't add up. I glanced at her and caught her looking at me, but she looked down at the beer in her hand. I looked at the clock. 11:43. It was early, still. I wondered how late people would stay here. I didn't care, I would have stayed for as long as she wanted me to.

Suddenly she grabbed my hand and pulled me through the kitchen and the dining room, towards a door that led out back. I listened carefully as she pulled me along and all I could hear was "Shots shots shots shots shots everybody!" pounding through the house. I used my free hand to plug my right ear and sighed.


	2. The Vow

**A/N: I wasn't particularly sure where this chapter was going to go, but once I started writing this is where I ended up. I had wanted the chapters to be longer but this one is shorter, and I'm sorry! But I felt like this scene, this interaction between the girls, deserved it's own chapter. I thought adding more would ruin the mood. But the next chapter will be longer and hopefully up in a few days.**

**Thank you for reading this and a bigger thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter! If you feel so inclined, you can review and I will read it, then read it again and probably once more. :) I hope you enjoy!**

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Now this just wasn't fair. Her backyard was massive. Completely and totally massive. There was a pool and a hot tub and a deck and grass and those pretty hanging lights and there was this "other garage" as Santana called it that had a boat parked right in front of it. She still had my hand and directed me towards the other garage. She opened the door and we went inside. No one was in here, and I was actually surprised. This seemed like a cool place to hang out in. Or have sex in, if you're one of those people. But after a second of looking around, no one had emerged and we were completely alone.

I wandered a few steps to look around. This place was like a home theater. There was a TV mounted on the wall that was bigger than any TV I had ever seen. I thought my dad had a big TV in our living room, but this TV was way larger. There was one big leather couch in front of the TV with several mismatched arm chairs beside it. One of the chairs was this ugly shade of green and immediately I knew why it was out here instead of in the living room. I thought that it must be Santana's dad's chair or someone like that, but she sank into it and set her beer down on the ground. She swung her legs over the arm rest and relaxed her head into the other arm rest. She looked peaceful.

I tried to take a drink but it was empty, and I frowned. I sighed and looked around for a trash can or a recycle bin, but didn't see one. I set the bottle on top of a counter next to a power drill. I scooted the bottle away from the drill a few inches.

Santana's eyes were on me. "There's more in there," she said, pointing to a refrigerator behind the chair she was sitting in.

My mouth made an 'O' shape. "You have a refrigerator in here? Awesome," I sang. I walked over to it and swung the door open with more force than I intended, but caught the door before it hit the other side. I studied my options: beer, water, orange juice, wine, other beer or Gatorade. I bit my lower lip in concentration. What I really wanted was beer, but I knew I should drink water. But they also had my favorite drink that I can never say no to, even at 11 at night. I pulled the orange juice out.

I sat on the edge of the couch closest to Santana and opened my orange juice. She tilted her head and looked at my drink. "Orange juice?"

"It's orange juice, Santana. Nobody says no to orange juice." I took a big gulp and wiped my mouth with my finger.

"A lot of people say no to orange juice, Brittany," she said, repeating my name in the same tone I had used to say hers. "No one in my family drinks it except for my dad."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Who doesn't like orange juice? I held the bottle protectively to my chest. "It's my favorite," I told her. "I would drink it all day if I could. But since we go through a carton every two days, my mom only lets me drink it in the morning."

Santana gave me this pitiful smile. "That's a crime," she said, picking up her beer and setting it on her lap. We sat in silence for a while, listening to the music and chatter from the partygoers outside. Thankfully there wasn't a LMFAO song playing again.

"So," I ventured after a few minutes. "Why are we out here?" I glanced to where I set my empty beer bottle earlier and saw the power drill sitting a few inches away, alone with duct tape and other tools. "I'm not ready to die yet."

Santana turned her head to where I was looking and fought back a smile. "Didn't anybody tell you not to trust the crazy girls?" I saw a twinkle in her eye.

"They just told me not to get into cars when people offer me candy. But I don't see a car or candy."

When she smiled at me again, I noticed that she had really nice teeth. Really nice, super white teeth. I had braces for a year when I was thirteen and my teeth still didn't look as good as hers. Then I wondered if they were that nice because she was blessed by the Tooth Fairy or if she had paid to have work done to make them look that nice. Then I felt bad for judging her like that. Then I just smiled back finally. "Why did you pull me out here? My favorite song was playing!" I joked.

"I didn't want to have this party, but I didn't really want to be alone either."

"So then why me? We met half an hour ago."

Maybe I'm naive and assume other people are just like me. Maybe I don't know the appropriate etiquette for a party. Maybe I'm just over thinking this. But something tells me that this girl doesn't just meet random other girls at a party—her own party—and give them beers and sit alone with them inside a mini home theater/other garage. I've heard what Quinn and Sugar and Puck have said and I've seen the way the people here have acted around her. This girl doesn't strike me as the type to just make a new friend out of the blue. And not just any new friend, but me.

People don't generally like me. Actually, that is a lie. People love me. But they love me because I'm fun and carefree and if it's a boy or it's a girl I'll just give them what they want and move on. I think the word I'm looking for is easy. I'm easy. I don't put up a fight because I'm a pacifist and I'm a people pleaser. So if someone wants something, I'm their girl, but I'm never anyone's first choice when they don't want to be alone. Unless it's in a sexual way, but I don't think that's what Santana is looking for right now.

When I asked her that, she looked at me. Her eyes looked darker now than they did in her senior picture but they were so beautiful. They were a major contrast to my bright blue eyes. She inhaled slowly, like she was making sure to suck in all the air that she could. She held the air in her lungs for a moment before exhaling. I sat on the couch with my legs crossed and my orange juice resting against my thigh, waiting for her to respond. By the way she inhaled I could tell she was thinking of an answer, or maybe an appropriate way to answer. It was like she was unprepared for the question. There wasn't already an answer hidden in her brain, waiting to be used again. She had to come up with one on her own that hadn't been used before. For a very brief moment I felt special because of that thought.

"I think it's because I just met you," she said slowly. I was a little confused, and my face showed it because she took another slow breath and continued. "People don't...they don't particularly like me. They pretend to, but at the end of the day I know that they don't. People call me when they want to go shopping or go to a party or go get high, but they don't call me when they're crying and need someone to talk to. And I sure as hell don't call them."

I could feel my heart sink just the tiniest bit. On one hand I was shocked by her honesty. I was someone she just met and she was trusting me enough to tell me that she basically has no friends. If I didn't have friends, I don't know if I could ever tell anyone because that thought is just so sad. Everybody deserves at least one friend. On the other hand, though, she still hadn't answered my question. Why me?

She wasn't done yet, however. "You talked to me," she said quietly.

"Why wouldn't I talk to you?" I tried to make the question airy, like I really had no idea. I had an idea why I wouldn't have talked to her, but I wanted her to keep going. I wanted to hear her speak but at the same time, I wanted her to be honest. I wanted to hold on to that moment of feeling special for as long as I could.

"Brittany," she said my name slowly and hesitantly, but she said it like she's said my name a million times before. She said my name like she knows me, like I was someone she has known her entire life. "Did you see anyone talk to me tonight? I mean other than the pleasantries Puck and I exchanged, did anyone come up and say something? No one said anything to me all night. No one said anything to me before you got here except for 'hey, Santana, where can I put all the alcohol?'" Her voice was sharp, and critical. But it felt more like she was being critical of herself. I think she was using her tough voice to mask the pain she felt from what she just told me. Only I don't think it was pain so much as plain loneliness. How long had the party been going on before I got there? How long had she been sitting in silence while people paraded through _her_ house like they owned the place? My heart sank just a tiny bit more. I could not imagine how she felt. And I hoped I never had to.

"I'm tired of..." she was searching for the right words to articulate her thoughts. "I'm tired of being alone. I don't want to be the loser in the corner of a party in her own damn house. This is my house and I shouldn't feel this way, but I do, and I am so fucking tired of it." She took a shaky breath and a big drink from her beer. I had a feeling she still wasn't finished, so I let her continue. I didn't really owe her anything, but I think she really needed someone to listen to her. "So when I saw you looking at my pictures, I got this weird feeling that you were different. You came and sat down by me and you talked to me even though I'm about 99% sure Quinn has told you bad things about me. People run the other way when I speak or hang around long enough to give a bullshit reply. But you stayed. So that's why you."

I felt a surge of pride fill my chest. I had no idea what she had been through, though I had a small glimpse, but she was trying to make her life better. I had to give her credit for taking a chance on me. I barely knew her, but I was so proud of her for admitting all of that to me. She was probably the bravest person I had ever met. Quinn and I had been friends for two years and she never told me about her baby, and here Santana was spilling her heart out to me after an hour.

She was done talking now, which meant it was my turn to come up with a reply to everything she had just told me. As I sat with that responsibility, the responsibility of saying something meaningful to her that also was a fitting reply, I drew a blank. I was not born with the gift of good conversation. I can converse, but it's never something anyone would be inspired by. I never had heavy conversations with anyone, even my best friend, so I was just at a loss. I took a cue from her and slowly sucked in air, trying to by myself time to think of something to say. I exhaled even more slowly then gave up, and just said the first thing I thought of. "People have called me different my entire life, you know. It's never bothered me, but it's never been something I've, like, liked being called before. But tonight, I couldn't be happier to be called different."

The response I got from Santana was a half smile, but not the kind of half smile someone gives when they don't really want to smile. This was the half smile of someone who had just poured her heart out to a stranger and was now sitting in the comfortable silence of knowing there was a very good chance that she was no longer alone, and would no longer be the loser in the corner of a party in her own house.

I saw the remote for the TV sitting on the counter I put my empty bottle on. I got up to grab it, and before I sat down I stood in front of Santana and extended my pinky out to her. She looked up at me for a second before taking it. She stood up and we walked back to the couch and sat down, pinkies still locked. I handed her remote and she turned on the TV. She flipped through the channels before giving up and going to the Pay Per View section. There were a few movies playing I had wanted to see, like The Woman in Black and The Grey. She flipped down the menu another page and saw that The Vow was still playing. She looked at me and gave me this 'please can we watch this' look and I nodded my head. She selected the movie, hit Pay Now and laid her head on my shoulder as The Vow began to play.


	3. Late Night Television

I was fuming. I could feel my cheeks redden and I swear I felt just the tiniest bit of steam leak out of my ears. I took a sharp breath, exhaling loudly against the top of Santana's head. She finally removed her head from my shoulder and sat up next to me. While I was still feeling irate, she wiped a few stray tears away from her cheek. Then she really looked at me.

"What?" she gasped.

"That movie was freaking terrible!" I answered, my voice just below a shout.

Santana's lips faltered for a moment before she cracked a smile. "You're upset about the ending? They got back together, Brittany."

"She never remembered, though. What's the point if she never remembered?"

Santana kept smiling at me. I was still upset and I would absolutely never sit through this movie again, but it was hard to stay angry when she was smiling at me like that. I think if she was smiling at anyone like that they would lose any anger they had.

"Is it weird for you to just disappear for two hours while there's a party raging on in your house?" I asked her. She was now sitting cross legged facing me, scrolling through her phone. I pulled mine out, it was a little after 2 AM.

She looked up from her phone and paused for a minute, piercing her lips. She shook her head. "I've done it before, just hid out in my room. Eventually people will clear out. I have these parties all the time."

"Why? You don't seem to enjoy them very much."

"My parents are rarely home," she responded.

"Don't you get lonely?" I asked her. There was always someone home in my house, usually my mom since she doesn't have a job. She takes these spa trips with her sister once a month, though.

She shook her head again. "I find stuff to do." Her lip curled a bit when she said it.

Santana stood up and turned the TV off, placing the remote back on the counter. She collected the empty drink bottles and threw them away. There was a trash can in a cupboard underneath the counter. "Let's go kick everyone else out," she said cheerfully.

I had become really comfortable on the couch, so it took more effort than normal to peel myself away from it. I stretched my arms behind my back and followed her out of the room. When we entered her backyard, it was like a different world. Instantly I felt bad for this supposed cleaning person Santana has because it looked like a tornado blew through. There was crap everywhere. It just looked like crap to me. There were cups and bottles and plates and clothes and shoes and cigarettes and food items scattered throughout. "I don't remember it being this crazy," I murmured.

Santana looked up at me. "Yeah, this usually happens. But I've never left my underwear at a party before, so I'm not entirely sure how that happens."

She was right about one thing, though. Most people had cleared out. There were a few people talking and smoking, and a couple passed out on the ground. Santana stepped closer to where people were sitting. "You need to go," she said. She pointed to the two guys passed out in the grass. "And take them with you. Now." She wasn't exactly mean when she said it, but her voice carried so much authority that the people she spoke to stood up and started to move towards the guys who were passed out. She turned and started to head towards the house.

We went through the entire house, making sure nothing important was broken and kicking everyone who remained out. Then we went back outside, made sure everyone really was gone and went through the house again. Santana was really the one doing all of this, I just trailed behind her the whole time, sipping a bottle of water she handed be when we first entered the kitchen. The people she kicked out always gave me a questioning look before they got up to leave. I tried to figure out what they were trying to convey through the looks, since nearly everyone gave one to me. I thought back to when Santana said she didn't really have anyone to hang out with at these parties and thought that must be it.

It was 3 o'clock when she opened the door to her bedroom and collapsed onto her bed. I stood in the doorway, taking in my surroundings. I hadn't been in her room yet. I kept wondering why we never checked this room when we were going through the house, but then I saw her unlock it. I thought that was a very smart move. Having strangers in my room would make me uncomfortable, plus I'd never want to go in there again.

Her room was dark, alarmingly dark. Her walls were almost black, or maybe they were black but I couldn't see them well enough because the lighting was so dim. I looked up to see a ceiling fan with an overhead light attached to it, but when she flipped the light switch a different lamp came on. She also turned on a bedside lamp. I could see enough to know what I was doing and if I was closer to the lamp I could even read, but I couldn't see much else. Across her window was those blackout curtains, but really nice ones. I wanted to touch them to see what type of material they were, because they looked a lot nicer than the curtains I had in my room. She had a desk with a chair on one side, a vanity on the other and two bookshelves close to her bed. It was all modern furniture, very sleek and the colors were neutral. I didn't know Santana well enough, or at all actually, to judge whether or not her room was indicative of who she is as a person but it made me curious to find out.

"Are you going to stand there all night?"

I looked over to the bed where she was laying, and she had her face smashed against the bed, facing away from me. I wasn't sure how she knew I was still standing near the doorway when she wasn't even looking at me.

"I don't bite," she mumbled, turning her head towards me. She looked like she had been asleep for hours and just woke up. Her cheeks were faintly flushed and her hair was tangled. I moved closer to the bed, pausing for a second to take off my shoes before I sat down on the edge. Santana rolled over to face me and propped her head up on her right arm. "When do you have to be home?" she asked.

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter. My parents know I'm with Sugar so they don't care when I get home."

Santana looked at me when I spoke. She was giving me this look that I couldn't figure out. I think she must have a really good poker face or intense Botox because I could never get a facial expression out of her when I said anything. I had seen her face when she spoke to Puck and all the other people tonight and her face had been really hard then. I looked back at her now and her face wasn't hard like it had been, but it was still unreadable.

"How do you know Sugar?" she asked. Her voice was softer.

"I've known Sugar my entire life. Our parents went to high school together. She and I grew up together, our families have always done everything together. She's my best friend." I licked my lips. Santana didn't respond right away. "She said you had dance together?" I phrased it as more of a question than a statement. I wanted to hear her talk.

She nodded first. "Yeah, in school." She scrunched her face for a fraction of a second. I wondered if she did it because she didn't like Sugar or because she was talking about school. If she didn't like Sugar, that would have been okay. A lot of people don't like Sugar but I still love her. "She was sort of annoying."

I giggled. "She can be. But she's my best friend."

She smiled at me. I wasn't expecting her to, but I smiled back anyway. She didn't smile a lot so when she did it made me excited. Actually it made my heart thud inside my chest, which I think is like an extreme version of excitement.

Santana inhaled and opened her mouth like she wanted to say something but she didn't. "What?" I asked her, raising my eyebrows. She kept her mouth open.

"I really don't feel like taking you home," she exhaled. My mouth dropped slightly and that was when she cracked another smile. I playfully hit her shoulder and tried to act offended, but it didn't work. I just ended up laughing. "You can stay here tonight if you want. Or call a cab. I'll pay." She was kidding.

I didn't even have to think about it. "I'll stay," I said. After I said that, her face softened and I could actually read her expression. She was happy, and confirmed it when she smiled at me.

Santana rose off the bed and walked over to her dresser. She opened the third drawer and grabbed some clothes then turned and tossed them at me on the bed. "You can sleep in those." I picked up the clothes, she had given me plain black Soffe shorts and a red t-shirt that said WMHS on it. I stood up and started to take my clothes off. I unzipped my shorts and pulled them down, then I pulled my shirt over my head. I had a little difficulty because the shirt was tight around my chest but I got it off as gracefully as I could. I set my shirt on the ground by my feet and looked up to see Santana looking at me. She had her back to me but she had turned her head to face me. We locked eyes for a second before she snapped her head back to the drawer and pulled out something for her to change into. "I'm going to go to the bathroom," she said. I watched her walk out of the room as I pulled the shorts on. I looked at the shirt she had given me. I think Sugar has the same one. I pulled it over my head. I ran my fingers through my hair a few times before I leaned over and started to pull my hair into a ponytail. I lifted my head back up and was putting the hair tie in when Santana came back into the room. She put her clothes in a hamper next to the dresser.

"You're like an Olympian," I told her. That's when it hit me. "Oh my god," I said. I frowned to myself.

"What?" Santana asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"The only reason I came upstairs in the first place was because I had to pee," I told her. I know that not peeing isn't really that big of a deal and this wasn't going to give me another UTI, but it was events like this and me completely forgetting to pee that gave me a UTI to begin with.

Santana tried to conceal a smile from me. She pointed to a room down the hall. "There's the bathroom."

I started to jog but then I thought that seemed a little weird so I slowed myself to a walk as I left her room. I heard Santana shuffling with a drawer when I opened the door to the bathroom. This was a nice bathroom. It was decorated in a French way, like the rest of the house appeared to be. The sinks were marble and there was one of those really fancy pearly white tubs and a separate shower. I think this guest bathroom is the size of my parent's master bathroom. I wasn't jealous of her house, but I definitely would like to spend more time inside here.

After I was done peeing I walked over to the sink to wash my hands. The soap wasn't in its original container, but one that matched the rest of the bathroom. It smelled amazing, like jasmine. I loved the smell of jasmine. I actually washed my hands twice so I could smell the soap again. It didn't dry out my hands, either, like a lot of soaps do. I saw a single toothbrush in the toothbrush holder. It was pink. I thought it must be Santana's toothbrush, except it was pink so I was a little unsure. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess and still curly from when I curled it at Sugar's house. I noticed some of my mascara had smudged so I turned the water on and wiped away the mascara that was underneath my eye. I looked at myself for a minute, my hands supporting myself on the counter, before I turned off the light and exited her bathroom.

I walked back into Santana's room and saw her laying on her bed again. She must have heard me enter because as soon as I came through the doorway because she turned over. She rested her head on the mattress and blinked a few times, just looking at me. I stood and rested against the wall by her door, looking back at her. Normally if two almost strangers were just looking at each other it would have probably felt awkward, but with her it wasn't. Looking at her now was like looking at my mom or Sugar, someone I have known for a long time. I wasn't seeing a girl I met a few hours ago, I was just seeing Santana.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" she asked, breaking our stare. She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

I nodded. "I think I'm starving."

"You think?" She ran her fingers through her hair, not really looking at me.

"It's not like my parents starve me so how should I know how that feels?" I answered.

She looked up at me and tilted her head to the side, contemplating a response. "Good point. My parents starve me all the time."

My jaw dropped. "Santana that's child abuse."

She laughed at me. "I'm just kidding, don't be so serious." She stood up and walked towards me, a smile on her face. "Come on," she said. I followed her out of her bedroom and back downstairs into the beer bottle abyss that used to be known as her kitchen.

**xXXx**

"But Puck?" I asked, curling my lip as I took another bite of pizza.

She frowned at me, but nodded anyway. "It was a long time ago."

"It was two months ago, apparently."

"Well it's over now," Santana said. "So enough about that. What about you?"

"Have I slept with Puck? No, but I'll admit he's tried."

Santana smirked at me. "I'm not surprised. But I'm serious."

"Umm..." I looked up at the ceiling. I took notice of another chandelier and the other lights that surrounded it. I wasn't sure how honest I should be. She had told me about Puck and all the other guys, though, so I didn't really think she would care. "A lot of people."

"How many is a lot?" Santana asked. She sipped her water and eyed me.

"A lot is...too high to count?" I said, the inflection evident in my voice.

Santana raised her eyebrows and gasped quietly. "You're friendly," she giggled.

"Yeah, well, so are you." Yes, I was _friendly_, as she put it. That was also the way Sugar put it. I couldn't help it. Actually, I could very well help it, but what was the fun in that? Making out is fun. I had this imaginary list in my head of all the people I'd made out with. Sugar told me that I shouldn't tell anyone about it, but whenever I'd conquered someone new I would accidentally let it slip. She had made me stop with the notches on my bed post, however. Sugar claimed they were trashy and when my mom asked what they were, she said we were practicing our woodwork. I stopped after that. The imaginary list never went away, though. "I just like making out. And sex. What can you do?" I shrugged.

She just laughed and shook her head at me. She took another bite of her pizza. "I never thought I'd meet someone who had a worse reputation than me."

"Oh, my reputation isn't bad. At least I don't think it was bad. I mostly just made out with everyone. I have this list in my head of all the boys I made out with. But I had to expand that so now it's become a list of just anyone I've ever kissed."

"You remember everyone you've ever kissed?" She was giving me this 'yeah, right' look.

"Yes! It's like the only thing that's ever stuck in my head besides dance routines and coffee orders." I was being serious, but I'm not sure if she believed me.

Santana went bug eyed for a second while I was answering her. I was about to ask her why when she asked, "You expanded your list to what?"

"Huh?"

"You said you expanded your list from just boys. Who else?"

Duh. "Oh, yeah. Everyone. Boys, girls, adults."

"You've made out with girls?" Her eyes were still bugged. Was that a bad thing?

I nodded slowly. "Lots of them." It was the truth. Girls were fun to kiss just like boys were. Although I think they are slightly better in bed, but girls know girls' bodies better than boys do so it's really an unfair comparison. "Is that bad?"

Santana's eyes slowly went back to their normal size. "No," she said. "I guess not." She paused for a moment, and looked up at the ceiling like I did when I was trying to think of something to say. "Did people ever treat you differently for it?" she finally asked me.

I shrugged. "No. I mean I got a lot more advances, if that's what you mean. No one ever said anything, though. Why would they?"

"There was this kid that went to my school, Kurt, and people bullied him so badly that he had to transfer schools."

My face lit up. "He transferred to my school! I love Kurt." I did love Kurt. He was a good friend of mine. I thought about something. "Have you ever kissed a girl, Santana?"

Her eyes bugged once again and she vehemently shook her head with more force than I think she intended. Then she curled her lip just the tiniest amount. "No, definitely not."

"Girls are great kissers," I told her.

She shook her head again. "I like boys." She looked uncomfortable.

"So?" I asked. "I like boys, too. But I enjoy a sweet lady kiss every now and then."

The answer didn't seem to satisfy her and she just shrugged me off. I wasn't getting the sense that she was a big gay hater, but I decided to just drop it. She didn't respond to what I said anyway. I watched her as she ate the last of her pizza. She wiped her mouth and looked at me. Her eyes were so big and so brown. She looked like she was searching for something when she looked at me. I didn't know what she was looking for, but I hoped that she would find it soon. I hopped off the bar stool and stood next to her. She was watching me. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped when I wrapped my arms around her. I couldn't see her face but I felt her body tense. It didn't last long and she slowly relaxed, wrapping her arms around me. I squeezed her torso before dropping my arms and stepping away from her. Her lips weren't smiling, but her eyes were. I think Tyra called it smizing? She was smizing.

"What was that for?" Santana asked softly.

The first thing that popped into my mind was that scene in Bridesmaids where the two girls sing "that's what friends are foooor" at the engagement party, but I think she was looking for a real answer. So I gave her one. "You looked like you needed a hug. We're friends, right? I hug all my friends when they need it."

"We are friends." She smiled at me, this time with her lips and her eyes. She stood up and collected the plates and threw them in the trash. I noticed that every time she or I was finished with something like a plate or bottle she would throw it away even though there was trash everywhere. I wondered if it was bothersome to her to have her house this messy. I didn't know if she was a neat freak or not, but I think this mess would bother anyone.

"When is your house going to get cleaned?" I asked her, since it was on my mind.

"In the morning. We have cleaning people come every morning," she answered.

"That seems like the worst job ever."

"That is why you leave a very nice tip on the counter." She walked towards the lights and shut them off. "Let's go."

I followed her back up to her room once again. She only turned on her bedside lamp and crawled into her bed. She motioned for me to get in beside her. I laid down on her bed and turned to face her; she was already facing me. She looked like she wanted to say something, a look I've seen a lot tonight, and I wanted to shake her and tell her to just spit it out. I didn't understand what was so hard for her to say. She had already shared a lot of personal stuff with me so I couldn't see what she felt like she couldn't tell me. She could tell me anything, I wouldn't care. I don't really like to judge people.

She was looking at me and I was looking at her. I tried to think of something to say to let her know that it was okay to tell me whatever she wanted to tell me, but before I could even think about it she reached behind her to grab a remote. She pointed it at the TV and pressed on. She didn't say anything to me as she did this and I knew it was because she was stalling. I didn't feel like I had the right to corner her into talking to me just yet, not that I would do that if I did have the right, so I turned my focus to the TV. I noticed it was after 4 AM and there was nothing on except infomercials and adult swim cartoons. I used to actually enjoy infomercials when I was younger but now I've become cynical of them and the whole time I watch one I wonder if that's a _real consumer_ or not and if they're getting paid to say this. Santana still didn't say anything as she started looking through the shows she had recorded. She had a lot of reality TV, which didn't surprise me. She had The Real Housewives of New Jersey highlighted and it took me a second before I realized she was looking at me, waiting for approval on the show. "Sorry, yeah," I said and she hit play.

We watched the show in silence for about ten minutes before I felt Santana's body shift next to mine. I fixed my eyes on her and saw that she was a little closer to me but now she had her back to me. She was resting her head on her arm. It didn't look particularly comfortable the way she had her neck stretched to see the TV. I turned my head slightly and just watched her for a minute. She didn't seem to be paying any attention to me. By the way her legs were bent, her shorts had ridden up and I could see her butt. Her butt was just as tan as the rest of her body that I had seen so far.

As I was looking at her, I felt the urge to wrap one of my arms around her waist, which would have caused us to spoon. The longer I looked at her, the stronger that urge grew. I ended up moving my arm behind my head. I had never really had an urge to spoon someone before. Sugar said that sort of thing was called intimacy and that I was lacking in that department. She wasn't wrong. I don't recall ever experiencing a time when I wanted to be _intimate_ with someone. I liked kissing and having sex and hanging out and that kind of stuff, but I really just liked to keep myself at a distance. I never wanted someone to hold me or anything because then I would have felt like I owed them something. Sex is great and usually I'll sleep with whomever but that's where I draw the line. Guys would try to spoon with me afterwards so I would push them off and get dressed and leave. Sugar also said that that is why I've never had a serious boyfriend; spooning is something you do with your boyfriend. I don't have an answer for why I felt that way. To me it wasn't weird or something I should be worried about so I never gave it much thought unless I was talking about it with Sugar. The only reason I was even thinking about it now was because this was the first time I had wanted to do something intimate, and I hadn't even had sex with Santana. I hadn't even kissed her. I barely knew her, in fact, but I just knew and felt that I wanted to be close to her.

I shrugged the urge off and tried to pay attention to what was happening on the show. Santana was fast forwarding through commercials. She hit play again and set the remote next to her. I didn't watch this show so I had no idea what was happening. People were fighting and I was pretty sure this women was a lesbian and that's all I was taking away from the show.

Eventually Santana turned back over to face me again. She looked exhausted. I don't know what made me do it but I reached for her free hand and linked her pinky with mine. She took a slow, deep breath and I could feel her hand trembling a bit. I squeezed her pinky softly and it seemed to slow her trembling. She looked into my eyes then shut hers. She had relaxed quite a bit. I closed my eyes too and we both lay there listening to some lady complain about someone else.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed. I opened my eyes and couldn't see a thing because the room was pitch black. I guess at some point Santana had turned off her lamp and TV. Our pinkies were still linked together. The only sound I could hear was Santana's breathing. It was deep and slow so I could tell she was asleep. I blinked a few times and my eyes became adjusted to the dark. I inhaled and exhaled slowly. I was so tired and I knew that as soon as I tried to I would fall right back asleep, but I wanted to take a second and be in the moment. My second didn't last long, though, because Santana started to stir. I was laying on my back and I felt her arm swing across my stomach. I looked at her and she was still asleep. I think she moved her arm out of habit and I was about to move it off of me, but something stopped me from doing that. Instead I tried as carefully as I could to turn over without waking her. My back was now to her but in the midst of turning over I had actually scooted closer to her body. Her arm twitched but she didn't remove it from where it now rested across my waist. I smiled to myself. This wasn't exactly spooning since she had no idea what she was doing and that was okay, right? This wasn't a big deal. I inhaled again and buried my face into her pillow. It smelled really good. I hoped that was what she normally smelled like because the scent was intoxicating. I closed my eyes and listened to her breathe until I fell back asleep.

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**A/N: Reviews are always nice :)  
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	4. Bucket Lists

**A/N: I know I haven't updated in a long time. I was out of town then I sort of lost interest and forgot about the story. But here's a new chapter! If you like it, let me know & if you don't, I guess you can let me know if you want? I also added a link to my tumblr for all the tumblr users. It's adriannnnna . tumblr . com :) Like I said, review if you want. I appreciate it! I also won't ditch all of you again, promise.**

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I didn't know who woke up first because we both shifted at the same time. I had my back to Santana all night and when I finally woke up it was killing me. I turned my body as easily as I could to face her just as she leaned more onto her stomach. The first thing I saw were her eyes, then I realized her arm was still across me. She realized it too because she casually removed it from my waist and rested it against her stomach. I followed her arm with my eyes and she didn't say anything about it, but she avoided direct eye contact with me. I gave her a small smirk after she had set her arm back down but my eyes betrayed that I wasn't happy about her missing arm.

"Your bed is comfortable," I told her. I felt like I was laying on a soft, but firm, pile of feathers.

She nodded at me with her eyes half closed. I didn't know what time it was but it felt like I hadn't gotten enough sleep. I could have closed my eyes and fell back asleep again, but Santana had other ideas.

She shot up and jumped out of the bed so fast I didn't even have time to blink. She stood at the edge of her bed and looked towards her closed door before she turned back to face me.

"Are...you okay?" I asked. Her eyes narrowed slightly before she brushed her hair off her shoulder and replied, "Of course. I just thought I heard something."

"What did you think you heard?"

"Someone, but I know who it is."

I nodded my head and sat up. My eyes had adjusted to the light and for the first time I could see her room clearly. It turns out her walls were not entirely black, but they had a pattern on them. I started to squint to see what the pattern was but Santana's body appeared in front of me and she blocked my vision.

"It's getting late," she told me. Since I was on the bed and she was standing, she was taller than me. I looked up at her. Her arms were resting on her hips and her hip was slightly cocked. She looked impatient. I searched for a clock but I never found one. "It's almost 10," she told me.

I was amazed that she could go from extremely groggy to drill sergeant wide awake in under a minute. I yawned before I finally swung my legs over the bed and stood up. Santana had started towards the door and I followed, avoiding the mirror by her door because I probably looked like shit. When I left her room, I took a good look around me. Her house was spotless. If you hadn't known there was a party here last night, you wouldn't know there was a party here last night. I followed Santana down the stairs and we entered the kitchen.

She started opening cupboards and looking for something. I pulled out a stool at the bar so I could sit down. Santana moved from the cupboards to the pantry to the fridge before she sat down next to me. "There's no more," she said, frowning.

"No more what?"

"Alcohol," she breathed, laying her head down on the immaculately clean countertop.

I let out a small laugh and rubbed my hand over her back a few times. She raised her head back up and turned her head to look at me. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving," I replied with a wink.

She smirked and stood up again. She walked back over to the fridge and started taking out a few items. She had several eggs, some milk from a brand I had never heard of and a container of creamer. She set the stuff down in front of me and moved on to a cupboard above the stove. She set more stuff down in front of me—cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla extract, I noticed—then wandered into the pantry. At first I had no idea what she was going to make until she came out of the pantry carrying a loaf of bread. I smiled. French toast is a special occasion luxury in my world.

After Santana had all the stuff set out, she stood in front of an extremely fancy coffee maker and started turning it on to make coffee. "Can I help?" I offered.

"Do you know how to make French toast?" she asked, eying me.

I gazed at her and shook my head slowly. I actually didn't know how to cook anything at all. Well, other than top ramen, but everybody knows how to make top ramen. Santana nodded at me like she understood me and started mixing stuff together. I tried to watch her and learn so that I could make this for myself someday but it was sort of boring and I zoned out a few times. Santana had gotten a phone call and spent most of the cooking time talking to someone in Spanish, which I found very impressive because I failed Spanish, so I just drew random patterns on the countertop and waited for her to finish.

She finally put a plate in front of me and sat down. I poured some of the coffee into a dainty little coffee cup and put just as much creamer in to cool it down. Coffee is always too hot for me so whenever I order it, I have to ask for kid's temperature. We started eating in silence.

"So where are your parents?" I asked. It seemed like a simple question and a conversation starter.

Santana finished her bite before answering. "Some medical conference. My dad's a doctor."

My eyes widened. "A doctor? I've never met a doctor." I realized after I said it that it sounded dumb because I had met several doctors in my lifetime, but I had never known one on a personal level.

She just shrugged. "It's not really a big deal. He's gone a lot." She was fighting it but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was a little sad. I think I would be sad, too, if my dad was away a lot. My mom, too. They're always around. I can't imagine what it would be like if they weren't.

"He just leaves you here alone?" I asked.

She shrugged again. "It's not really a big deal. And besides," she gazed around the room, "I find ways to manage." I didn't know what she was referring to, and I didn't ask.

I took another bite. "Do they know you throw wild parties when they're not home?"

A big 'ha' escaped Santana's mouth. "No way! They would kill me, are you kidding?"

"Then how do you get away with it?"

"Brittany, who's going to tell them? Me?"

"Your _neighbors_," I said. I took a sip of the coffee.

She shook her head again. "The houses are far enough apart to not cause any problems. And it helps that my parents do not get along with the neighbors."

"Why?" I asked. I started tracing patterns on the countertop again.

I saw Santana's body slowly tense up. Her eyes flickered away from mine for a brief moment. "They never have," she replied quietly. I didn't say anything in return.

We spent the rest of breakfast talking about little things like work and school. I would talk about Sugar and she would just look at me. She didn't share anything too personal with me. I didn't pry for answers because she shared enough last night.

After we had finished eating we went back up to Santana's room. She laid down on her bed and I laid down next to her. Our bodies were touching and it suddenly felt so warm in the room. I looked at Santana out of the corner of my eye and she was looking back at me. The longer we laid next to each other, the warmer it got. I could smell her from laying so close. She did smell just like her pillow and it was intoxicating. I started feeling a little dizzy from that combined with how warm it was. I finally had to sit up to get some air. I had no idea why I was so hot. I wondered if Santana was hot, too. I wanted to ask her but she spoke first.

"I guess I can take you home now."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" I teased playfully.

She shook her head. "Of course not. But that was my mom on the phone earlier."

"Okay?" Was I supposed to know what that meant? Because I didn't.

"They'll be home soon," she elaborated. "And they don't like it when I have people over without them here."

"What, will they think I'm your booty call?" I joked, but Santana just frowned. She really wasn't into any of these even remotely gay references. I shrugged to myself.

I got off the bed and walked over to my clothes I had left on the ground. I slid Santana's shorts off my legs and set them on the bed. I quickly glanced at Santana and she wasn't looking at me. I pulled my own shorts back on and fastened the button. I took her shirt off and set it next to her shorts. I picked up my shirt and while I was trying to fix it, I noticed she was looking at me. It was subtle, but I could still feel her eyes on me. I started feeling really hot again. I don't know what it was, but something about her looking at me right now was incredibly appealing. I liked that she was paying attention to me. I put my shirt back on as slowly as I could.

I sat down on the bed to put my shoes on and I felt something warm behind me. It was Santana. She was on her knees pressed against my back. I was about to turn around to ask her what she was doing when I felt the hair tie being pulled from my hair. She ran her fingers through my hair so gently because it was a tangled mess. I just sat there and learned against her as she brushed out my hair. I forgot the reason I was even sitting down. She didn't say anything as she began to pull my hair up into another ponytail. The feeling of her fingers in my hair was amazing. I already loved people playing with my hair but when she did it, it was ten times better. She was careful not to pull at my hair as she put the hair tie back in. She kneeled next to me on the bed and just smiled. I smiled back as a way of saying thank you. It was still really hot in here. Did she turn the air off or something?

I slipped my shoes back on and stood up. I walked over to the mirror by Santana's door and looked at myself for the first time today. I looked tired and my makeup was smudged a bit, but my hair looked great. I wiped away the mascara and saw Santana come up behind me. She had her keys in one hand and her phone in the other. I stepped aside and said "After you" with a smile before following her out of her room.

She held the garage door open for me and I walked inside. Her garage, the real garage, had that musky, woody, tire smell that I loved. I took a few deep breaths and basked in the scent. I blame my dad for my love of boy smells.

"It's this one," Santana said, pointing to a very nice, very new black car. She hit a button on the wall to raise the garage door and I walked over to the passenger side. Santana unlocked the doors and I climbed inside. Her seats weren't leather, which I liked, and it looked like no one had ever sat in here before. I had hoped my shoes weren't dirty or anything because I didn't want to risk messing up her car. It still had that new car smell. I felt like I was in Heaven. Everything Santana had smelled amazing. I could smell her stuff forever. I thought about telling her that but I didn't want to come across weird.

Santana got in the car and turned it on. Cold air blasted in my face, which was a relief because I was still feeling very, very warm. She backed out of the driveway and onto the street. "You have a really nice car," I told her, running my hand along the door handle.

"It's alright," she replied. I stifled a giggle because she hadn't actually said something that was funny. I don't know why I found it funny.

I gave her directions to my house. I lived about twenty minutes away. Suddenly I felt really bad for making her drive all this way just to take me home. I told her that, but she brushed it off. "It's fine, Brittany," she said. I hoped she wasn't lying.

We pulled onto my street. I suddenly felt like I was in Mayberry. While Santana's street had been swanky and glamorous, my street was simple and rural. I lived on the kind of street where people didn't lock their doors and where you would be crucified if a party was thrown. I pointed to a house on the right and Santana stopped in front of the driveway. "Your house is cute," she said.

"It's alright," I mocked. She stuck her tongue out at me.

I started to open the door when Santana said "Hey, Brittany?"

I pulled the door closed and looked at her. "Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you stayed over," Santana admitted.

I gave her an earnest smile. I was really glad I stayed over, too. Santana was so intriguing and all I wanted was to know who she was. "So am I. Thank you for everything."

She was looking directly into my eyes. I felt warm again even though the air was on me. I didn't know why she made it so hot but I realized that I actually liked it. I liked the way she was making me feel.

"Do you work tonight?" she asked.

"Yeah," I sighed. "But I am off for two days afterwards, so yay."

"So then I'll see you soon?"

"I will see you soon," I smiled. I liked the sound of that.

I got out of her car and closed the door. I waved goodbye and watched her drive away. I thought the warm feeling would go away after I said goodbye to Santana but it didn't. It got worse.

xXXx

I felt exhausted when I walked into my living room. I inhaled the sweet scent of flowers and looked around to see if anyone was home. My dad usually didn't work on Sundays but he wasn't planted in his usual spot on the couch so I thought he might be golfing with my uncle. I walked through the living room and looked into the kitchen. My mom was sitting at the island with her back to me. She had a magazine open. I looked at the oven and saw the timer was about to go off. I guess it was around lunchtime. I leaned against the wall and my mom looked over at me. "Oh, hey Britt."

I smiled at her. "What are you making?"

"Some lasagna for later. Your uncle and his family are coming over for dinner," she said, keeping a smile plastered on her face. I knew my mom didn't like my uncle and she sure as hell didn't like his wife. I thought they were nice but my mom always shook her head whenever I said that. "Do you work tonight?" she asked, moving her attention back to her magazine.

"Yep, 'til closing." My mom just nodded her head in response without looking at me. I hated when she did that because if I wasn't looking at her I would just think she ignored me. My whole family does it. They just assume I'm looking at them when they respond yet they don't look at me.

I walked back into the living room and looked out the back door. My mom loved gardening so my backyard was this huge array of flowers and trees and other plants. It looked like a jungle. When I was younger I would ask my mom if I could help her in her garden and she let me. I grew my very own tomato plant when I was 10 years old. I looked at the spot where I planted it and saw the one I had planted a few months ago. It was looking a little yellow and I frowned. I looked towards the kitchen at my mom, wondering if she had watered the plants yet. My mom is forgetful like me so I doubted she had.

I opened the back door and walked outside. It never gets particularly hot here but it was fairly warm outside. The sun was directly over the backyard. I walked around to the side of the house and turned the water on. I grabbed the hose and walked to where my tomato plant was. I made sure the hot water had run out before I started watering the plant. The soil was completely wet before I moved on to the next plant. We had several vegetable plants that were lined up against the farthest wall of the backyard. I had the water on really low because once I had the water on too high and I accidentally broke the stem of one of the roses.

It took me a few minutes but I made it through the vegetables. I knew the trees and grass and bushes had the water drip so I ignored those. I dragged the hose to the rose plants against the adjacent wall, but the water was no longer coming out. I shook the hose several times before it occurred to me to turn around and check to see if it was kinked. It was. I watered the roses and the gardenias and some exotic plant my mom got from Lowe's. I yanked the hose onto the patio to water the last few plants we had before throwing it onto the grass and shutting the water off. I wiped my forehead and examined the yard, making sure I got all the plants, then went back inside. We had plants in the front, too, but I was too tired to go out and water those ones as well. I would just remind my mom later.

Walking through the hallway, I took notice of the pictures we had hung up. It was a lot like Santana's house because there were a dozen pictures of me and my sister in different outfits and at different school functions. The difference, though, was while we had a lot of pictures of just us girls, there were several family pictures and ones of just my mom and dad. Santana's house just had the one from when she was a baby.

I stopped at my sister's room and leaned in her doorway. She was laying on her stomach with her phone in her hand. A Chris Brown song was playing quietly. "You said you'd be back before dawn," she said without taking her eyes away from her phone.

"Okay, _mom_," I replied.

My sister finally looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Sugar texted me asking if you made it home okay." She looked at me like I was Satan. I inhaled. Did I tell my sister I was with Sugar? I don't even remember. I just shrugged in response. "Where were you?"

"I stayed at a friend's house because Sugar bailed."

"A friend?"

"Yeah? We met at the party."

"You spent the night with someone you just met?" She went bug-eyed and her mouth fell open a little bit. Breanna was 15, which is not that young, but she is really conservative. She goes to church, like, three times a week.

I huffed loudly at her. "Yeah, we even slept together." It wasn't exactly untrue. I just liked to mess with my sister about stuff like that. It makes her go crazy. And she really drives me crazy sometimes because she's so judgmental of my actions so I do it to make her head spin. And it did. She sat up so fast and I wasn't sure it was possible, but her eyes got even bigger than they were before.

"Brittany that's disgusting."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes at her. I turned around and left her room. I loved my sister but only in very small doses. She could be a lot of fun until something serious was brought up. I tried to keep my _private life_ talks with her to a minimum, but she's still fun to mess with sometimes.

I opened the door to my room and collapsed onto my bed. I buried my head in the mess of blankets and closed my eyes for a long time. I don't think I fell asleep, but I had no idea what time it was. I hadn't looked at a clock all day, actually, except for when I woke up. I reached to my back pocket for my phone, but it wasn't there. I felt both of my front pockets and it wasn't there either. I sat up. I checked my bra and my pockets again, but my phone wasn't anywhere on me. "Shit," I mumbled before falling back into my bed and falling asleep for real.

I woke up disoriented and gazed around my room. I started really looking at my room and wondering if it was an accurate reflection of who I was. My walls were light blue and had flowers all over them. My furniture was all wooden. I didn't have a TV or a vanity or anything like that. What I did have was a desk, a dresser and a night stand next to my bed. It doesn't sound like a lot but my room isn't super big so it took up most of the space. I did have enough space to dance, because when I turned 14 Sugar and I pushed my bed against the wall, thus moving the rest of the furniture around too.

I don't think my room really said who I was. It seemed so boring and basic to me. Santana's room was dark, abnormally dark, which could be indicative of her personality but my room was average, old blue. Everyone had blue so it didn't say a whole lot. The flowers could say I'm childish or I'm old or I'm a hipster, but I wasn't any of those things; I just liked flowers. The wood furniture said my dad does woodwork in his spare time. That really had nothing to do with me because my sister's room was the same way. In fact, my sister had the exact same furniture in her room, bed and all, because my dad made all of it. My room said nothing about who I was.

Then I looked at my desk, the bulletin board to be precise. I stood up and walked over to my desk, pulled out the _wooden_ chair, and sat down. I stared at the bulletin board in silence. I had had it since I was a little girl and had spent my whole life pinning stuff to it. There were pictures, pictures of people I wanted to be like or meet, pictures of places I had been or wanted to go, pictures of me and my friends and my family. There were also pictures of more flowers and things like ballet shoes, cool clothes and cats. I had clipped newspaper articles, printed quotes off the internet and even ripped a page out of a book and highlighted a phrase I really liked. I put stickers all over the place, including a sticker from the third grade that said "You're a star!" There were other random items like hair clips and magnets, really just whatever I could find that held a meaning or memory to me. In the middle of the board was a folded up piece of construction paper with my bucket list on it. I hadn't touched it in over a year. My hand started to reach up and unpin it, but I stopped myself and rested my arm on the desk. I don't know why I stopped myself. It was just a trivial list of things to do in life like become a famous dancer or go to Paris. But I couldn't bring myself to open it right now.

For the past maybe ten minutes I had been looking around my room and thinking if it said anything about me. The one piece of this room that actually did say something about me was the bulletin board and the list. If anyone wanted insight into my world all they had to do was look at the bulletin board and read the list. That was who I was. Something just wasn't clicking, though. The list didn't feel like me. Or maybe I was just feeling off today. Whatever it was, it was compelling me not to open the list. I didn't want to read about who I was, or who I used to be, anyway. Maybe I was changing. I still felt like me, but thinking about the person I know to be me, I had never felt farther away from being me in my life.

I stared at the list for a little while longer before standing up and walking over to my dresser. I glanced over at the clock on my night stand. 4:22 PM. I had to be at work in an hour and a half. I opened a drawer and stared at it for a minute. I don't think I was looking for anything. I needed to shower before work, so I closed the drawer and walked into the hall to grab a towel. I noticed my door was still open so I pulled it shut before walking into the bathroom.

I turned the water on and stripped out of my clothes. The water was warm, but not warm enough so I turned the knob closer to the H. I turned away from the water and let it fall on my back, releasing some of the tension I felt. I took a few deep breaths and started to wash my hair. I thought about a lot of things like work and friends, but all my thoughts led back to one thing and that thing was Santana. I smiled to myself thinking about her. I don't really know why I was thinking about her, other than the obvious reason that she's the newest person in my life. I thought about her house and her making me breakfast. Then I thought about sleeping in her bed and the way her arm swung over me and the way I wanted to cuddle with her. I didn't think too hard about any of these thoughts. Santana was new and interesting and that's why I couldn't get my mind off of her. One thing I did think hard about, though, was how badly I wanted to see her again.

xXXx

It was just me and Puck tonight. Sunday's were usually slow so it was okay that there were only two of us. Puck was mixing a drink and I was taking an order. I walked towards him to start a girl's drink. He started to speak right as I turned the blender on. His voice was muffled by the sound and we both laughed. He waited for me to finish before he repeated himself.

"I'm sorry for ditching you last night."

I hadn't been expecting an apology from him, mostly because I hadn't been angry with him. I knew Puck well enough to know he doesn't really give a shit about problems he caused so I was oddly touched. "All is forgiven," I said with a smile. I handed the girl her drink and walked to the other end of the counter to check on the deserts.

"Santana just gets on my nerves," he said. I glanced over at him and he was just standing against the counter. I didn't say anything at first and continued to cut a few pieces of cake that had just come out of the oven. "She's such a bitch sometimes," he went on. "She tries to act like she owns me or whatever. Every time I'm with a girl she has some stupid comment about what an ass I am."

I finally turned to look at him. I tried to study his expression; what I got from him wasn't anger, it was more like frustration. "Do you like Santana?"

Puck scrunched his face, and not in a good way, and turned his head to me. "She's an annoying bitch."

I took a breath. "She is my friend."

He looked at me like I was stupid. "You just met her last night and you were practically wasted."

"I had, like, two shots. And how do you know we're not friends?"

His head tilted and he kept the same expression. His tone changed to match. "You don't know anything about her."

"I know enough to know I like her, Puck. Just because you don't like her doesn't mean I can't. I am my own person," I sighed. I traced the design on the counter and avoided eye contact. I hated confrontation and this was turning into a fight.

"That's funny, because you always take Quinn's advice about staying away from me and you follow Sugar around like you're her bitch." My head snapped up at the word 'bitch.' Did Puck really just call me a bitch? My mouth fell open slightly and I just stood there looking at him, suddenly at a loss for words. He went on, though. "You don't know Santana."

"How the hell would you know, Puckerman? You're the one who took off and left me with her all night!" I came as close to shouting as I could without drawing attention from customers to us. Three girls had walked in and I walked to the register to take their orders. I was glad I had a small break to cool off. It was really out of character for me to get angry over something like this and honestly, I didn't even know why I was so angry at what he said. I guess it was offensive and he looked at me like I was dumb but it wasn't really a big deal. This was the Puck I knew and expected. I took a few deep breaths as I exchanged money with the girls. Puck had started making the first girl's drink and I started to make the second girl's. We didn't speak.

I put whipped cream on the top of a chocolate frap and put the lid on then handed it to the third girl. I watched the three girls leave before I turned around and faced Puck. He didn't look at me as he washed out a few of the blenders but I watched him anyway. I felt like I should give him an apology for shouting at him but I didn't think he would take it, so I tried another approach.

"I slept in her bed last night."

Puck turned around to look at me and cocked his eyebrow. He set the blender in the sink and rested his back against the counter. "She let you stay the night?"

"Indeed she did, and now we're practically best friends," I hummed. Maybe if he knew I had spent more than five minutes with her he would see that we were friends. Besides, why is it so unbelievable that Santana and I could be friends? Is there a time limit after meeting someone before you reach friend status? Santana even agreed that we're friends. And it's not like we're dating. Santana's not even gay. I thought about telling him what we talked about last night in Santana's other garage, but that was just between the two of us. If he knew, then he would definitely believe she and I were friends, but I couldn't tell him so I had to rely on what I had already told him.

I looked directly into his eyes and saw a look of near exasperation. I had never seen Puck like this. He was very composed most of the time but his eyes were conveying more emotion than I thought he had. "You do like Santana."

He shook his head and turned back to the sink. I think he was brushing me off. I smiled to myself and walked over to the register. Puck still liked Santana but Santana didn't like Puck. I didn't really like Puck either but since Santana was my friend I would talk to her about it.

"What time is it?" Puck asked. He was now standing next to me with his arms folded across his chest. I reached for my phone in my pocket, then remembered I didn't have my phone. I turned around to look at the clock on the wall. I squinted a bit and tried to read the roman numerals. I had to actually count to figure out what time it was. I wish the clock was digital. "It's 6:30." I had been here for half an hour.

"I'm off," Puck said and vanished into the back. He left me with a confused look and a moment of worry but I didn't have time to process it because as soon as the back door shut, the main door opened and Santana walked in. My heartbeat escalated as soon as I saw her face. I had a huge smile when I saw her. I couldn't believe she came to my work. I wondered why she was here, but it didn't matter because I was so excited to see her.

"Hello, _friend_," I chimed, placing emphasis on the word friend in case Puck could hear me from the back.

Santana walked up to the register and smiled. My heart was still thumping in my chest. She looked around for a brief moment before asking, "Are you alone tonight?"

I shook my head. "Puck's working." Wait a minute. "Actually, I have no clue. I thought Puck was working but he just said he got off and no one else is here but me. Oh my gosh hold on." Santana cocked her eyebrow but stood silently as I walked into the back.

I walked past the stock room and almost ran into Puck as I entered the break room. He put his hands on my shoulders and stepped beside me, not saying a word. I watched him walk out of the back before I went into the break room. I looked at the schedule on the wall. _Pierce, Brittany 18:00 – 22:00_; _Puckerman, Noah 13:00 – 18:30_. Well, that didn't help because the schedule is arranged alphabetically. I started at the top and ran my finger through the list until I saw her name. _Fabray, Quinn 18:30 – 22:00_. I grinned. I loved working with Quinn and I wanted her to see that I was alive and no major catastrophes happened at Santana's party. She was late, though.

I walked back out to see Santana still standing by the register. I was glad no one was behind her waiting to place an order because I really wanted to talk to her for a bit. It had only been a few hours since we'd seen each other but it felt longer. I skipped over to her and rested my elbows on the counter while using my hands to prop my head up. "Quinn is supposed to come in soon. So what's up?" I asked.

Santana set her bag on the counter and started to dig through it. Her bag was big and black and I wasn't surprised because Santana seemed to like black. She dug for a minute before she pulled out a phone and held it up. She smiled. I just looked at her and smiled back until I realized she was holding my phone. "Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed and reached to grab it. "My child!"

Santana snorted. "I put my number in there. It's under Santana."

"Bold choice," I noted. I slid my phone into my back pocket and resumed my place resting my chin in my hands.

"What time do you get off tonight?" she asked.

I sighed. "10, but more like 11 since I have to clean up once we close." I hated later shifts because it meant I usually wouldn't do anything after work. It did leave me the whole day to do stuff, though, and those are typically my more productive days.

Santana nodded in response. Her smile faltered slightly. I really wish I was getting off earlier so I could see her later tonight. I wondered how long she was going to stick around while she was here. The door chimed and I looked over to see Quinn walking in. "Quinn!" I sang. Quinn smiled at me and opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself. Her walk slowed. I didn't know why until I looked at Santana and saw how stiff she had become. I bit my lip and tried to find a way to not make this interaction awkward. "I survived her party," I told Quinn proudly. I glanced at Santana only to see her frown. I then realized maybe I was throwing Quinn under the bus for telling me not to go to Santana's party, but I had told Santana that Quinn said it and she really didn't seem to care. She even told me the reason why Quinn felt that way, like she could understand Quinn's reasoning. But Quinn didn't know that and now I was making an already awkward situation more awkward.

"Awesome," Quinn said, forcing a smile. She didn't look at Santana as she came behind the counter. "I'm going to clock in." With that, Quinn went into the back, leaving me and Santana alone.

I looked at Santana's composure and she had softened now, but I could still tell she was uncomfortable. Now I really wanted to know why the two weren't friends anymore. What could cause such a big falling out? I would try to talk to Quinn about it during our shift. I figured she would tell me before Santana would since I knew her better. "I'm sorry," I said.

Santana brushed me off with a wave of her hand. "She can be mad all she wants, I really don't care."

"But you looked uncomfortable."

She started to look uncomfortable again. Her eyes flickered to the back door and back to me. She took a breath and relaxed again. I narrowed my eyes slightly and watched her, trying to read her body language but I was having no luck. She was really hard to figure out. "That's because she makes the room freeze and I hate the cold." I think she was making a reference but I had no idea what it was about, so I just nodded my head. "I should get going, I don't want to hold up the line," she said, looking over her shoulder at the couple who had just come in through the side door.

"Can I make you a drink at least?" I offered. I wasn't ready for her to go yet. She had only been here for a few minutes.

Santana looked at the menu, then at me, then at the door before looking back at me again. She bit her lip before she finally agreed. "Just a small one." She looked at the menu for a while before finally deciding on coffee.

"Coffee?" I asked. "We have over 50 drinks and you want plain coffee?"

Santana nodded and smiled like she had just said the funniest joke ever. "I was going to just ask for water but I didn't think you would appreciate that."

I frowned and turned around to grab her the smallest cup we have. It wasn't actually a drink cup, but one of the free cups we give to people who just want water. I filled the cup up with regular coffee and snapped a lid on. We didn't have coffee lids for these cups so I put a normal lid on it. I slid the cup into one of those cautionary cardboard slips. The cup was barely bigger than the slip. I turned back around and handed Santana her coffee with a straw. She just smirked and took a sip. "It's on me. Those cup sizes aren't actually priced, so I can't really charge you." Santana thanked me and told me to text her later before she left. I waited for her to fully leave the store before I started taking the next order. I was kind of sad now.

Quinn came out ten minutes later carrying three new bottles of flavoring. She set them on the counter next to me and I looked for the empty bottles in the collection. We exchanged the old bottles for new ones and Quinn threw the old ones away in the back. When she came back out I wanted to say something to her, but she came out carrying a rag and went to wipe off the empty tables. I sighed in resignation and looked around for something to do. I couldn't see anything that immediately needed my attention so I started straightening the bottles and made sure everything was faced correctly. Three middle school-aged girls came in while I was straightening up so I walked over to the register. They looked at the menu for what felt like five minutes before turning around and leaving without saying a word. _Whatever_.

Quinn finally came back to the counter. She set the rag down at the end of the counter and stood at the register to take orders. I was hoping that after she took the orders of the people in line that I could talk to her, but she never said anything and that's when a rush happened. Sunday's are never busy but it's June and people like their coffee. It was pretty steady, with Quinn taking orders and both of us mixing drinks, cleaning up spills, occasionally organizing the chairs and magazines and wiping down tables, grabbing low supplies from the back. Around 9, there were only a few people inside and no one in line. I went to stand by Quinn, who was washing dishes in the sink. I was about to speak but she spoke first.

"Are you friends with her?" she asked quietly without looking at me.

I couldn't read her tone, so I didn't know how to phrase my answer in a way that wouldn't upset her. She also wasn't looking at me so I couldn't read her expression. I tried to choose my words carefully. "I think so."

Quinn frowned into the sink. "You think so?" She looked at me.

"Well as Puck pointed out earlier, I 'don't know her' enough to be her friend, but I think I know her enough to say I am her friend. Or at least that I want to be her friend."

She clucked her tongue at me in response. Quinn set the blender on the counter next to the sink without drying it. Her eyes were pleading with me, but I didn't know what for. Quinn was confusing like Santana. Both of the girls said a lot in body language but never anything with words. I had no idea what Quinn was trying to tell me. I knew it had something to do with Santana and her not liking Santana, but she wasn't saying what was on her mind. I decided to just flat out ask her. "Is that a bad thing?"

Quinn shook her head. "No, no of course not," she said, her voice a pitch higher than normal. I think she was lying. Quinn must have known she didn't sound convincing because she backtracked. "It's just...you should be careful."

"About what, Santana?" I swallowed.

Quinn nodded very slowly. "Yeah, her. And Puck. And all the rest of them." She quickly turned back to the sink and started washing more dishes. I looked behind me to make sure no one was at the counter before I moved even closer to her. "Quinn what are you trying to tell me? I know you and Santana had a fight, and it's okay."

"No! It's not okay." Quinn threw the mixer that was in her hands into the sink. She sounded so hurt and frustrated at the same time and it made my heart hurt for her. I put my hand on her back. She looked up at me and I could see that her eyes were watering.

"Quinn..." I started, but she cut me off. "Listen, Brittany," Quinn sniffled and wiped her eye. "This isn't a big deal. Santana and I had a fight a long time ago and I'm over it now. But she can be a really shady person so just be careful. That's all I'm saying." Quinn walked past me and went into the back.

I watched her walk away with my mouth open. What just happened? She had started crying over Santana and stormed away. She also said something about Puck. I knew Quinn had once dated Puck and so had Santana so maybe he had something to do with their fight? I was so confused. I really wanted answers but I didn't know how to get them. Puck yelled at me for being friends with Santana, Quinn started crying because I was friends with Santana. What was happening? What I wanted to do was ask Santana what the hell was going on but we hadn't known each other very long so I didn't think she would tell me. Quinn didn't tell me and I doubted Puck would tell me. My only options were to wait it out until someone told me, or ask Sugar if she knew anything. I took a deep breath and leaned my head back, a frustrated grunt escaping my throat. I licked my lips and went into the lobby to start cleaning up since no one was at the counter. Quinn didn't come back out until it was time to close.


	5. Forever 21

I felt my butt buzzing before I opened my eyes. I whined and reached for my pillow, slamming it over my head. I was not ready to be awake right now. But I didn't want to miss whoever was calling me so I reached into my back pocket for my phone. I answered it without even opening my eyes.

I cleared my throat. "Hello?" I was on my stomach so my voice sounded really low.

"Hey, Brittany?" a voice rang into my air.

I had no idea who was calling me. I had just assumed it was my mom or someone from work. I didn't even know what time it was. I pulled my phone away from my ear. The first thing that I noticed was that it was 12:47 in the afternoon. _Shit_, I thought. I hated sleeping so late. Then I saw who was calling me.

"Brittany?" Her voice sounded so small coming from my phone. I quickly put it back up to my ear.

"San..Santana?" I asked. I shot up in my bed. I had no idea why she was calling me. I didn't even know how she got my number. "How did you get my number?"

I could hear her smirk through the phone. "You left your phone at my house, remember?"

"Oh my god, yeah, I did. I'm sorry, I just woke up," I said, rubbing my eyes. I gazed around my room, trying to wake myself up. It hadn't really registered that I was on the phone with Santana but when it did, my heart started beating fast.

"It's, like, 1 in the afternoon." Her voice held a bit of accusation but it was masked by her giggle at the end of the sentence.

"If I didn't set an alarm I don't think I would ever wake up. I can literally sleep for 13 hours and be fine with it."

She giggled again. Her giggle was cute and girly and a contrast to her normal voice. "You said you were off today?" she asked.

I nodded my head a few times before I realized she couldn't see me. "Yeah," I responded.

"My mom went to some ladies' lunch thing and she left me her credit card so I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping?" I don't think she meant it as a question, but her voice had a serious inflection. It made me smile.

"Of course!" I gave her a huge smile through the phone. I went to bed thinking about her and wondered when I was going to get to see her again, and here I was waking up her an invitation to go shopping with her. How could I say no?

"Yay," she said. I heard some shuffling on her end. "I've been up for a while but I guess you want some time to get ready?"

I looked down at myself. I was still wearing my work clothes, which entailed a pair of black jeans and a black tank top. I don't know how I had managed to fall asleep like this. My light was even still on. But she was right, I did need time to get ready. "I think I do," I responded. "Maybe like an hour?"

"Okay," Santana said. "I'll pick you up?" I wondered why all of her statements came out as questions. Nearly everything she said was an indirect question.

"Sounds awesome," I smiled. It was silent for a moment, and I had an idea. "You can come over now if you want." I paused a moment. "If you're bored." I don't think I necessarily wanted her to come over to my house, but I did want to see her sooner.

"Okay," she said, and I could hear a smile in her voice. I smiled again.

"Do you remember where I live?"

"Yes I do. I'll see you soon, then."

"Yay!" I cheered, repeating her. I wasn't sure what to say now and she didn't say anything either, so I just told her goodbye and we hung up.

I jumped off my bed. Even though Santana was coming over while I was getting ready, I wanted to be ready when she got here. Well, ready to get ready. I didn't want to look awful. I peeled my jeans off and slid a pair of spankies (the kind that did cover your butt) on. They would do until I picked out what I was going to wear. I looked around my room to make sure I didn't have any underwear on my floor and that it was somewhat decent. I was usually pretty clean so my room was fine. I stood in the middle of my room for a moment and I realized I was shaking slightly. Was I nervous? I was nervous. Why was I nervous? It was Santana and she was just coming over to go shopping with me. I took a deep breath and shrugged it off.

I thought I should go tell my mom what my plans were for today, so I opened my door. I walked into the hallway and toward the kitchen. I noticed my sister was gone. I opened the fridge to grab a bottle of water and when I closed the door, my dad was walking into the kitchen.

"Do you not work today?" I asked him and opened the water bottle.

He shook his head. "Sent me home early." He walked past me and went into the pantry. I just shrugged.

"Hey, where's mom and Bree?"

"Uh, they went out, I think. Your mom wanted to find a gift for the neighbor's baby shower." My dad walked out of the pantry and nodded at me, I nodded back. "You just getting up?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"Yesss..." I replied slowly. I was the only person in my family who ever slept past 10 a.m. He just shook his head and gave me a brief laugh. "My friend is coming over and we're going to go out, is that okay?" I asked. I didn't feel like I needed permission to go to the mall but I always asked anyway. I didn't want to be rude and assume my parents were okay with someone coming over even though my sister never asks permission.

"Sugar?" he asked.

"No, her name is Santana. We just met."

"Oh, okay. Yeah, that's fine." My dad started the microwave and I walked away with my water.

I figured I had like twenty minutes until she got here. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I stared at myself in the mirror. My blonde hair was a tangled mess, but I was lucky and the tangled mess actually looked alright. I bit my lower lip and squinted at my reflection. I decided I would brush my teeth first. I picked up my toothbrush and as I was brushing, I just watched myself. I was thinking back on yesterday and how I was feeling different. I wondered if I looked any different, but I didn't. I still had blonde hair, fair skin and a few beauty marks here and there. I was just Brittany. I shrugged off that feeling, too, and went into my room to wait for Santana.

I sat on my bed. I wanted to shower but I didn't want to risk being in the shower or a towel when she got here, so I decided to just wait for her and then I would shower. I didn't have a TV in my room so I wasn't sure what she would do while I showered, so I started thinking it would be awkward to shower after she got here. I was over thinking it. It was a shower, and Santana could be alone in my room for 15 minutes. I sighed and shook my head at myself. I guess I really was nervous, though I couldn't figure out why.

I gave up on my room and went into the living room. I sat down on the couch and turned the TV on. I flipped through the channels and saw that show Santana turned on, The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I didn't watch much TV and figured I wouldn't be watching long, so I just picked it. Once again, people were fighting. I rolled my eyes. I reached for my phone and when I couldn't see it, I realized it was still in my room. I went to grab it.

I came back out and sat down again. I pulled my knees up to my chest and watched. This show was thoroughly ridiculous and I didn't know why anyone would ever want to watch it. I heard my phone buzz. I turned it on and saw that I had a text message from Santana. She was here. I jumped off the couch and nearly sprinted to the door. I slowed myself and took a deep breath before opening the door. I felt like I was being obnoxious because of my nerves and I needed to calm down. Like I told myself earlier, it was just Santana.

I opened the door and walked outside. Luckily it was shady because I didn't have shoes on. I stopped right before the driveway started because there was no more shade. Santana walked towards me. My mouth fell open a little when I saw her, but I quickly closed it. She looked really good. Actually, she looked amazing. She was wearing a really tight black skirt and a red top. I bit my lip and then smiled as she stood in front of me. I wrapped my arms around her in a hello hug, and when she pulled away I told her she looked nice. She blushed, and I think I did a little, too.

She followed me inside. "My dad's home but my mom and sister are out," I told her. I think he was in his room because he wasn't in the living room or kitchen. I led her towards the hallway and my bedroom. I looked behind me and saw she was looking at the pictures on the wall. "Don't look at those," I said. "Those are so embarrassing."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Is this your sister?" she asked, pointing to an old picture of the two of us.

"Yeah, Breanna. She's 15." I led her into my room and sat down on the edge of my bed.

Santana took in her surroundings before she sat down next to me. At first when she sat down she was right next to me and our bodies were touching, but she scooted over a bit. Her body was really warm and she smelled exceptionally good right now. I turned my head to look at her and she was looking around my room. I couldn't get over how she looked. I licked my lips.

"So I need to take a shower," I said.

"Okay, that's fine. I'll just...hang out," she said. I still felt a little bad making her wait in here, but she looked really good and if we were hanging out I had to look good, too.

She watched me walk out of my room. I started to close the door out of habit but I didn't want to shut her in so I closed it half way. I grabbed a towel and quickly went into the bathroom. I stripped my clothes off and jumped in the shower while it was still cold. I squealed really loudly, and hoped no one had heard it. I let the warm water run over my body in hopes that it would calm me down. It really didn't. I washed my hair twice, scrubbed my entire body and shaved but I wasn't satisfied. I stood in the shower for a little longer hoping it would somehow make me cleaner, but I don't think it did. I turned the water off and stepped out.

I dried my hair enough for it not to drip everywhere and wrapped the towel around me. I grabbed my clothes and headed back into my room. Santana was sitting at my desk looking at my bulletin board. She didn't notice me at first so I stood in the doorway and watched her. She finally looked my way. "Are you a dancer?" she asked.

"I guess so," I responded.

"You guess so?"

"Yeah." I sat down on the bed. "I mean, I've been in dance classes my whole life and it's the only thing I've ever been the best at, but I don't know what to do with it now that I'm out of school."

"You keep dancing." She said it simply and looked back at the bulletin board.

I stood up and walked over to my closet. I had no idea what I was going to wear. It was quiet as I rummaged through my clothes. I was getting frustrated because it felt like I had nothing good to wear. I kept reminding myself that I was just going to the mall but it didn't really help. I took a deep breath and started at the beginning. I felt Santana behind me.

"You should wear this," she said, reaching past me to grab a shirt. It was white and kind of puffy and had 3/4 sleeves.

I studied the shirt. I don't think I had worn that shirt in a year. I don't even think I noticed it the few times I had gone through my shirts. I bit my lip and nodded in agreement. Santana liked it and I wanted to wear something liked. I took the shirt from her and walked over to my dresser. I didn't really want to wear pants in the summer so I looked through my shorts. The shirt was white so I pulled out a pair of black shorts. I realized I was going to have to change with Santana in the room, or go into the bathroom. I looked at her and she was sitting on my bed looking through her phone. I thought the bathroom was too far away to walk so I walked into my closet. I slid my underwear on with the towel still wrapped around me then through the towel on the floor. I pulled the shorts on before I reached for a bra. Usually I could snap the back with no problem but for the life of me I couldn't fasten it. I started getting really frustrated.

"Do you need some help?" Santana laughed. I turned around to look at her, my hands still fidgeting with the clasp.

"I'm usually a lot better at this, I swear," I said. I finally got it hooked. I took the shirt off the hanger and put it over my head. There was a zipper in the back I wasn't going to try to zip myself. "But you can help me now."

Santana got off the bed and walked towards me. I turned back around. She slid the zipper up slowly. I could feel her knuckles on my back. Her hands were warm and soft. When she was done she kept her hand on my back until I turned around. I was inches from her. She looked up into my eyes and smiled softly. She didn't just look really good, she looked beautiful. When she smiled it took my breath away. I felt an urge to wrap my arms around her and pull her even closer to me. Part of me wishes that I had, but I wouldn't have had an explanation for why I did it. My heart was beating out of my chest. I didn't know why she had this effect over me but she did, and to be honest I liked it.

She stood behind me as I studied myself in the mirror. I could see her face but I couldn't read her expression. I looked at my hair instead. It was halfway dry in a half straight mess. My hair wasn't curly but it wasn't straight, either. "I think I need to straighten my hair," I said to no one.

I plugged my blow-dryer in and it only took two minutes before my hair was dry. Santana was sitting on my bed again so I went to sit by her as my straightener heated up. "I like your board," Santana said, flicking her eyes over to it.

"It's really old," I responded. "I haven't added to it in a while. I don't even know if I still like half of the stuff I pinned to it."

"It's sweet. I don't have anything like it."

Santana asked if she could straighten my hair so I let her. I sat in my chair and she stood behind me. From time to time she would press her body up against my back and I would inhale sharply, but not loud enough for her to notice. Her fingers were like magic. She would brush my hair as she went along and I thought I was going to melt into her hands. It started occurring to me that maybe all these feelings I was having about her were because she was different than just a friend, but I didn't press the matter. If she wasn't a friend I had no idea what else she could be so I just accepted it. I liked her and I liked the way she had made me feel so far and that was enough to satisfy me then.

When she finished with my hair, I put some make up on and threw my shoes on. I had told her I would only need an hour but it felt like longer and when we got into her car it was 2:30.

**xXXx**

We went into every clothing store at the mall along with every jewelry store, every shoe store, even the two hat stores. The only problem was that neither of us had purchased much. Santana bought makeup from the MAC store and bought me a necklace but that was it. We had tried countless amounts of clothes on, though. Santana laughed at most of my options and said I had an interesting taste. I told her she could pass for a high class call girl and she laughed at that too, but her expression told me she wasn't entirely sure that I was kidding. I was. For the most part.

We finally ended up in Forever 21. Our dressing rooms were right next to each other. I had on a shirt with a panda on it. It didn't really fit, but then I had grabbed a large. I guess it looked smaller on the hanger than it did on my body. I was about to take it off and try on a dress when Santana called me.

"Brittany?"

"Yeah?" I had the shirt over my head and put it back on the hanger.

"I'm sort of...stuck. Can you help me?" I stifled a giggle. She sounded muffled and helpless and I pictured her trying to pull a dress over her head but not getting it past her boobs.

"Hang on," I said, still giggling. I was in my bra and I still had stuff to try on so I didn't really want to put my shirt back on only to take it off again. I didn't really want to go in there in just my bra, either, but Santana had seen me a few times so it didn't matter. I peeked out of the door and no one was out there so I ran out and knocked on Santana's door. She opened it quickly and I slipped inside.

She was wearing a dress, a red one. I could see every curve of her body in that dress. She was looking into the mirror and I was standing behind her. I noticed she wasn't looking at herself, but at me. I walked closer to her.

I watched her in the mirror and saw her inhale slowly. Her chest rose. She held her breath in for a long moment before releasing it. "I can't get it off," she said. She rolled her eyes but she looked slightly embarrassed. She had no reason to be embarrassed. I had been stuck in clothes before except I had no one to help me out of them, so she was lucky.

The dress didn't have a zipper so I could see how she could have gotten stuck. I wasn't really sure where to start, so I placed my hands on the edge of the dress, which was barely below her butt. I slowly started to pull the dress over her. I grazed her underwear and her sides with my hands. I don't really know what happened to me as I took her dress off. I started to feel a little lightheaded and all I wanted to do was touch her skin. But I didn't do that. I continued to pull the dress up until I got to her boobs. I was right, it was stuck there. I think her boobs were too big for the dress. I didn't really know how to do this without fondling her, so I placed my hands on her waist and turned her body to face me. Once again she was inches from me. She stared into my eyes and bit her lip.

It was that moment when I realized that all I wanted to do was kiss her. That's what all these feelings were about. I was attracted to her. I had felt attraction before, many times, so it came as a relief to me. Now I know why she gave me funny feelings. The problem was, though, that she was still two inches away from me and I had to get a dress over her boobs when all I wanted to do was kiss her. I gulped, hoping to swallow all the feelings I was having. It didn't work.

I placed my hands under the dress and started to inch it up. I knew it wasn't going to come off just by pulling at it from two sides. I moved my hands over her chest and inched the dress up a bit more. It took a few times but finally I got it over her boobs. She raised her arms up and I pulled the dress up and over her head. The dress was inside out so I busied myself fixing it then putting it back on the hanger. Then I looked at her.

This was the first time I had seen Santana without any clothes on. She was standing in front of me in a black bra and a matching thong, which I could see in the mirror. Her body was amazing. She had a nice set of lady abs. I desperately wanted to run my hands over her stomach, not because I thought she was hot but because I appreciated how toned she was, and I had to force myself not to. Santana was hot, there was really no other way to put it. It would be impossible for anyone not to be attracted to her. Even a gay guy would have to admit that Santana was just hot. She was hot and I appreciated that, even though I still wanted to attack her lips.

I realized I was staring at her so I moved my eyes up to her face. She was looking at me, though not my face. She eventually met my eyes and I'm pretty sure she was blushing. "I'm starving," she said out of nowhere. She reached for her skirt and started pulling it on.

"So am I," I replied, smiling.

I turned around to leave her dressing room. I ran into mine and put my shirt back on, forgetting the other clothes I had brought to try on. I sighed when I remembered I had a zipper on my shirt. Every dressing room I had gone into, I had come out and asked Santana to zip my shirt back up. It had happened six times and this store was no different. She was waiting for me outside her room with a smirk on her face. I stuck my tongue at her and turned around for her. I felt bad as we left Forever 21 because I had left my clothes in the dressing room.

We walked and laughed and made fun of people all the way to the food court. Santana had said she was starving but we ended up just ordering two smoothies. I ordered a plain strawberry one and Santana ordered something with coconut in it. She let me try it and it was actually really good. We sat down at a table farthest away from the crowd of people.

We had had a good time and we were getting along so I thought it seemed like a good time to ask about Quinn and Puck. "I wanted to ask you something," I said quietly, taking a sip of my smoothie.

Santana watched me for a few seconds before she replied. "You can ask me anything."

I set my smoothie on the table and took a deep breath. I was suddenly really nervous about asking her. I know I wasn't doing anything wrong at all but I just didn't want her to get mad at me. It really wasn't any of my business but we were friends now so I wanted to know, especially after getting yelled at by both Quinn and Puck. "How come you're not friends with Quinn anymore?"

She set her drink down too. "I figured that's what you wanted to ask me." Santana didn't look at me. She was trying to come up with an answer. She licked her lips and eventually looked up at me. I was silent. "You know that Quinn had a baby a couple of years ago, right?" I nodded. "She was my best friend and she was dating Puck at the time." I had a feeling I knew where this was going, but I kept quiet. "I..." she sighed. "I hooked up with Puck while they were dating."

I didn't say anything for a moment, I just looked at her. Her eyes were asking me not to judge her, and I wasn't going to. I knew it was bad to sleep with your friend's boyfriend and I could never do something like that myself, but I couldn't judge Santana for what she did years ago. "I'm so sorry," I said.

"Why?" She looked confused.

"Because you lost your best friend."

"I deserved it."

"Maybe," I said, and it was the truth. "But she was still your best friend. And it must suck to lose her."

Santana nodded slowly and took a drink. I had another question to ask her.

"Did you like him?"

"Puck?" I nodded. She rubbed her lips together and gave me a blank stare. I had no idea what she was thinking. "Not really," she finally answered.

"I think he still likes you." Part of me felt like I was somehow betraying him by telling Santana this but I really didn't care about Puck's feelings too much.

Santana laughed loudly. "I cannot imagine why," she said, shaking her head. "I have given him every reason not to like me."

"So you don't like him?" I asked.

"Definitely not."

I felt better knowing what happened between her and Quinn. I completely understood why Quinn had gotten so upset last night, though. If my best friend had slept with my boyfriend, the father of my baby to be more specific, I don't know if I could ever forgive her. I also couldn't blame her for telling me to be careful. I wasn't going to hold what Santana did against her, but I still understood Quinn.

I smiled at Santana and she smiled back. We decided we were ready to go. It was nearly 6 and we had spent enough time here. On the drive back I think Santana instinctively drove to her house because that's where we ended up. We were sitting in her garage before she realized she forgot to take me home. "I am so sorry. I'll take you home," she said and started to turn the car back on.

"No!" I said. I reached over and grabbed her hand to stop her from turning the car back on. I retracted my hand quickly. "I mean, you don't have to."

"Do you just want to stay over again?" she asked me.

I didn't even think about it. "Yeah," I said. She smiled and it wasn't just any smile, it was like a smile of relief or something. I had to smile back.

I knew I was attracted to Santana and I knew she made me nervous and hot and dizzy sometimes. I also knew she didn't like girls, but that was okay. Just because I thought girls were attractive didn't mean all girls did. I mentally shrugged it off. We were friends and I wasn't going to let her hotness interfere with that.

**xXXx**

Santana said her parents weren't home but they would be later. I asked if it was okay that I stayed over and she said it was. We were actually hungry this time so Santana ordered pizza again. She asked if I wanted anything else and handed me the menu. There were two foods I had a weakness for. One was orange juice and the other was buffalo wings. I very politely asked if Santana would order some for me; she ordered 50. My jaw dropped. "What the hell are you going to do with 50 chicken wings, Santana?" I asked.

"Eat them?" She furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm ordering for my parents, too. They'll appreciate it when they get home."

I just laughed. When the food got there we took about half of it upstairs. We sat on Santana's floor and ate while we watched Mean Girls. Santana told me I was Karen and I frowned. I told her she was Janis and she legitimately frowned. "I'm just kidding," I said and slapped her thigh.

After Mean Girls we watched Jersey Shore, which Santana loved and I wasn't surprised. Sugar had made me watch this show so I actually knew what was going on this time, but I still wasn't impressed. I told her that and she called me a hater.

It was 10 o'clock and we were still on the floor. There was food left but Santana went downstairs to get more. She brought me some orange juice, which I was touched by, and some chips. She also brought a bottle of vodka with her.

We spent the next few hours drinking, watching bad TV and eating, only we had migrated to her bed now. Santana made me sit through Teen Mom. I needed to drink to make it through the episode because I was horrified.

"You obviously don't like the same shows I do, so tell me what you do like."

I thought about it. "Umm," I stalled. I thought about all the TV shows I had recently watched. I really didn't watch a lot of TV. I had no idea what shows were airing, what shows quit airing and what shows were off-season. "I guess I like One Tree Hill." I had been watching that show since season one. It was the only show I actually kept up with.

"That show is crap," was all she said and she turned back to Teen Mom.

We hadn't drank too much but there was enough to make us laugh at everything and share stupid thoughts with each other. I started feeling tired around 3 in the morning. We were in Santana's bed and she was kind enough to turn on One Tree Hill for me. It turns out she owned all nine seasons on DVD.

"You know Peyton hooked up with Lucas and Brooke forgave her." My words were starting to slur a bit.

Santana snapped her head to me and her eyes were a bit glassy. She shook her head. "Brooke wasn't pregnant and Peyton didn't sleep with him."

"Okay that's true but in season three Peyton said she had feelings for him again and they reconciled...again." I absentmindedly laid my head on Santana's shoulder. She had one of her arms behind her head and I just laid on top of her. She didn't flinch or say anything about it so I stayed. She started to run her fingers through my hair. Her body was warm against mine and I didn't ever want to leave. "She was in love with him and they still became friends again. You never loved Puck."

"No, I didn't," Santana agreed. "But it's still just not the same thing."

I shrugged from my place on her shoulder and went back to watching the show. I was drifting in and out and Santana's fingers eventually stilled in my hair. I breathed in her scent and tried to keep my eyes open. About 20 minutes later Santana picked up the remote and hit pause. "I have to tell you something," she whispered.

I felt her body tense up and all the air escape her. As tipsy and tired as I was, I shook my head to wake myself up. I propped my head up on my arm and looked at her. She wasn't looking at me. Her nerves were radiating onto me and I thought I could feel her shake a little bit. I placed my arm across her waist and that got her to look at me. She took a few deep breaths. She knew she had my attention.

"I lied to you."

"Okay..." I tried to keep my voice light, but the words 'I lied to you' are never a good conversation starter. "When?"

"The night we met at my party, after everyone had left." I looked into her eyes. She went on. "We were talking about Puck and sleeping with people and your kissing list?" I nodded. "You told me you've kissed girls."

"I remember that," I said. It was so quiet in her room. All I could hear was the sound of our breathing.

"You asked me if I had ever done that and I said no." She held out the last word. I really didn't know where she was going with this. I kept looking into her eyes so she would know I was following her. I nodded in encouragement for her to continue. "I lied."

It took a few seconds to register in my brain what she was telling me. So Santana had, in fact, kissed a girl. And that was okay. I'd done it too many times to count. I didn't know if she was telling me because she felt bad for lying or what. I could still feel her body shaking under my arm. "Santana," I murmured. "Why are you so nervous?" I ran my arm up and down her side to try to calm her down.

"Because..." I could see tears welling in her eyes. Was she really this upset over kissing a girl? I just wanted to pull her into me and tell her not to cry. "I've never told anyone before."

I started to get the impression that Santana wasn't just admitting to kissing a girl, but she was subtly coming out to me. And maybe to herself as well. That was why she was reacting the way that she was. I didn't want to overwhelm her and ask her about it, but I really didn't know what else to say, either. "I'm really glad you told me," I said. And I was.

"Yeah," Santana said. She sniffled. Instead of laying my head back on her shoulder, I laid on my back. I gently pulled her onto me and wrapped my arm over her. I felt like we didn't need to have a big discussion about it. I wasn't going to ask her who it was or how it happened. I now knew why she was so upset without her telling me. She didn't need to tell me. This was a big moment for her and all I wanted to do was just hold her. I wanted her to know that it was okay. I was here for her. I thought my actions would do a better job of telling her than my words. So we laid there for a long time. I felt a few tears on my chest so I held her tighter. I would have laid there forever with her.

Sometime during the night I felt her lips press against my cheek. They were soft and a little wet and felt so warm against my face. I turned my head so I could look at her. The light was still on so I could see her face perfectly. Her brown eyes were looking into mine. I smiled softly at her. She was close enough to me that I could reach her cheek, so I pressed my lips against her in return. I kissed her for a few more seconds before I pulled away. Her eyes were shut but she opened them. She placed her hand on the cheek she kissed. She lightly rubbed her thumb under my eye and pushed herself up towards me. She took a deep breath before her lips collided with mine. It was a soft kiss, the softest one I had ever had, but it was the first kiss that made me completely melt. I was melting every second her lips were connected to mine. My stomach was doing flips when she pulled away and our lips parted with a soft smack. I wasted no time in kissing her again. And again. And again. Each time our lips disconnected there was a smack and it was the best sound I had ever heard.

She kissed me again, but this one was even slower than the rest. Her lips stayed locked onto mine for a long time. These weren't the kind of kisses that led to something more, though if she started to go there I don't think I could say no. These were different kisses. These were slow and soft and private and romantic kisses you only shared with very few people in your lifetime. I felt like I was high. Her kissing me was intoxicating. Our lips parted again. She stood up to turn her light off then crawled back into bed. She laid down in the exact spot she was in before. I pulled her as close as I could to me. She placed one final kiss on my cheek. "Thank you," she whispered into my ear. She pulled the blankets over us.

I laid there with my eyes open for a while, reliving what just happened between us. As far as I was concerned, Santana was a friend to me. I know you don't kiss your friends the way she and I kissed but she was still just my friend. And I would kiss her again and again if she would let me. I sucked in all the air my lungs could hold, held it there and breathed it out slowly. The butterflies in my stomach didn't die down even though she had stopped kissing me. I could feel Santana's breath on me. It was peaceful. I found her hand and locked my pinky with hers. She gave me a squeeze and I was asleep as soon as I closed my eyes.

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**A/N: Okay so the mall in Lima, Ohio does NOT have a Forever 21 but I have not shopped a lot at the stores it does have so I just kept it :p Review! I appreciate them. And I appreciate you!**


	6. Family Dinners

**A/N: I love reviews. Please review :) it does make you want to write faster. And I really do appreciate it.**

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"I wish you didn't have to go home," she said. She tapped the steering wheel with her fingers and sighed. I just looked at her until her gaze finally drifted over to me. Her eyes held sadness.

I gently nodded my head and turned to look at my front door. "My uncle is here from California. He says he has 'news.'" I really didn't want to come home and have dinner with my whole family, but my mom said I had to. Santana and I had slept pretty late so I missed three of her phone calls. When I finally called her back, she was mad that I hadn't told her where I had been all night. I think she was placing her anxiety on this last minute visit on me. Either way, I got out of bed and Santana drove me home. "I'll call you later, though," I said, turning my head back to her. She smiled.

"Let me know the _big news_," she joked. I rolled my eyes. I took my seatbelt off and leaned over to hug her. She squeezed my torso and held me for a moment before we let go. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," I sighed. I opened her door and got out. I wasn't hungover but I was close, and the sun was killing me. I quickly walked into the shade and watched Santana drive away.

Watching her go was hard. I almost wanted to cry but I knew that was stupid; I would see Santana again soon, probably tomorrow. Walking into my house, I was hit with a strong floral scent. My mom had plugged in a Wallflower from Bath and Body Works. She only did that when something important was happening. I walked past her and my dad in the kitchen and headed towards my bedroom. Both of my uncles would be here at 6, and it was 3. I fell into my bed and pulled out my phone.

"What did you do last night?" Breanna asked from my doorway.

I sat up and yawned. "I stayed at Santana's again. We went to the mall yesterday."

Bree came in and sat down next to me on my bed. She stared at me and I could tell she was thinking about something. "Santana...like she has dark skin and long hair? Friends with Quinn?"

I nodded. How did my sister know Santana? I guess she went to church with Quinn so maybe that's how she'd heard of her. "Why?" I asked. "Well," I quickly added, "she and Quinn aren't friends anymore."

"Quinn used to talk about her a lot and Santana came to church with her sometimes. I never talked to her though." My sister leaned back on her hands. "How come they're not friends anymore?"

My sister had seen Santana before and heard stories about her. I felt my heart sink a tiny bit, but for what? Jealousy? Was I jealous? I think I was. I ran my fingers through my hair. I wanted to ask Bree what Quinn had said about Santana but I didn't. I thought about telling her what Santana told me yesterday about the fallout with Quinn but Sugar didn't know and I'm not sure if Puck did either so I thought it was a secret. "I think," I started, trying to think of an answer, "they just got in a fight about something."

"You don't know what about?" Bree stretched out her legs.

"Quinn never said anything about it," I shrugged.

Bree nodded in response. She leaned forward. "Do you know anything about this stupid dinner tonight?"

"Huh uh." I shook my head. "All mom said was Uncle Chris was here from California and Uncle Matt and Sarah were coming over, too."

"Are grandma and grandpa coming?"

"If they are mom didn't tell me."

"Lame." My sister got off the bed and walked towards the door.

"Hey, close my door," I told her. I watched the door shut and I leaned back on my bed. I closed my eyes for only a few seconds before I felt my phone buzzing next to me. I picked it up. _Sugar_.

I hit answer and before I even said hi Sugar's voice filled my ears. "God, Brittany, where the hell have you been for the past three days?"

"Hi to you, too," I rolled my eyes at her through the phone.

"Why haven't you called me back?" Sugar whined.

"I've been busy. And you only called twice."

"I have to tell you about after the party!" she shouted. I winced. I don't even remember why Sugar and I got separated at the party. All I remember is Santana. But Sugar didn't wait for me to respond. "I hooked up with Matt."

"Hooked him up with what?" I asked. I tried to remember that night. I could vaguely remember getting there and hugging Matt and Sam, but that was it.

"No, stupid, I _hooked up_ with him," she clarified.

Oh, yeah. Sugar left with Matt before I even said goodbye. "Oh," I told her. "How was it?"

"Beautiful," she sighed.

"Are you dating him?"

"Sex isn't dating, Brittany."

"But I know you like him."

"Well he'll have to work hard to earn a spoonful of this Sugar."

I snorted. "He's already had a ladle full."

I could feel her eyes narrow. "You never answered my question, bitch." She changed the subject.

"Which one?" I rolled onto my stomach and laid my head down, resting my phone on top of my ear. I hated talking on the phone but Sugar still called me daily anyway. I usually only half listened to her because she would talk about stuff like Matt and random people she went to school with. But mostly Matt and how her dad was rich and could buy Matt if she really wanted him to. Sugar could be weird.

"Where the hell have you been!"

"Oh. Um, with Santana."

She inhaled sharply. "Santana _Lopez_? Why are you hanging out with her?"

"We're friends?" I felt a little weary saying that because the last thing I wanted was another speech about how it wasn't possible for us to be friends.

"Since when? I'm your best friend, I know everything."

"Since you ditched me to have coitus with Matt."

"Brittany oh my god, stop quoting Big Bang." I giggled. Big Bang Theory was my sister's favorite show. I hadn't seen all of the episodes but my favorite character was Sheldon and he said that all the time. I had to Google the word to find out what it meant. When I found out I laughed so hard soda came out of my nose and I vowed to say the word as much as possible. Sugar hated it and part of me kept doing it to piss her off. She didn't say anything else about Santana, though, and I was thankful. "What are you doing tonight?"

"My uncle is in town and we're having a family dinner," I said.

"The gay one?"

"Sugar my Uncle Chris is not gay. He's married." She was convinced that he was gay and I had no idea why. But every time he was around she would crack gay jokes when no one but me was listening. I just rolled my eyes at her. "But I have to go get ready."

"Fine," she whined. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Working in the morning. Why?"

"I miss you! We should get together with Matt and Sam." I could hear the flirtation in her tone. She emphasized Sam's name and I sighed. I could not convince her that I didn't like him. Especially now that I knew Santana. So I just agreed to get her off the phone. We would hang out after I got off work.

I was finally alone. My mind immediately drifted to Santana. I wondered what she was doing. I thought about what happened last night. Santana had kissed me and I kissed her back. She had fallen asleep on my chest after coming out to me and kissing me. When we woke up we didn't really talk about it. When we were on our way to my house we didn't really talk about it. She didn't kiss me again but I noticed she never really took her eyes off of me. I noticed because I never really took mine off of her, either.

I still felt butterflies when I relived kissing her. I bit my lower lip. Before we left her room to come here, Santana grabbed my waist and pulled me into a hug. We stayed connected for what felt like forever. Her arms were around my neck and mine were around her waist. I breathed in her scent and held it in my lungs until I absolutely had to take another breath. I didn't want to let go, ever, but I knew I had to come home. When we finally broke apart we stood in front of each other for a moment. I bit my lip. She was so beautiful. She looked straight into my eyes and knocked all the breath I had away. I was about to step towards her door when she smiled at me. It was subtle, just the corners of her mouth turned up, but it was the most sincere smile I had ever gotten. I smiled back and I knew that I didn't need to say anything to her. We didn't needs words or labels or anything. I knew that we had crossed a friendship line and I knew that I had her. And she had me. That was all I needed in the world.

I groaned into my pillow. I freaking missed her. It took everything I had to come home and say goodbye. I didn't know how I was going to sit through this dumb family dinner when all I could think about was Santana. I just wanted to talk to her. Then I realized I could talk to her; I could text her. I told her I'd text her so why wasn't I texting her? I picked up my phone and went to her name. My eyebrows furrowed because then I didn't know what to say to her. Hey? That was stupid. I didn't want to say something sappy because that was also stupid. I threw my phone down and went to take a shower.

**xXXx**

"So what's the big news, Chris?" My other uncle, Matt, slammed his fist down on the table in mock aggression. He had been aggressive all night. He had actually been a little mean all night, making snarky comments to Uncle Chris.

The dinner had gone fine, otherwise. It was typical adult talk, with Uncle Chris asking about all of us. We shared stories and I sat there bored the whole time. I kept thinking about Santana and zoned out a few times. At that moment I had been thinking about seeing Santana in her underwear in the dressing room and felt a shudder through my body. The fist to the table got my attention and I snapped my head towards my uncle.

Uncle Chris took a deep breath. I watched him as he took a big drink of red wine and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. I was sort of intrigued by his news. My mom was convinced that he was going to move back to Ohio but I didn't think that was it. Why wouldn't his wife be here for that announcement? "It's not good news, I'm sorry to say."

My first thought was cancer and I actually felt my eyes start to sting with tears. But I was getting ahead of myself. He wouldn't tell us he had cancer over pasta and wine. I blinked rapidly a few times to make the tears go away and they did. "Spit it out, Chris," my dad said.

"Marissa and I are getting a divorce."

Everyone's mouth dropped a little bit. I understood why my grandparents weren't here. My dad's side of the family was really religious and divorce was not an option. My dad had sat Bree and I down a thousand times and told us to pick wisely because we're only allowed to get married once. I really didn't see why divorce was so bad. If the marriage was bad, why not end it? But my dad didn't share those views and neither did my mom because she started crying. I couldn't believe she was crying. She was sitting next to me and I put my arm on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, touching usually calmed her down.

"What do you mean you're getting a divorce, Chris? You and Marissa have always been so great together and you go to church all the time, don't you?" my dad asked. He had leaned back in his chair. He looked so shocked and confused. I guess I couldn't really blame him. It was a little shocking because Chris and Marissa always seemed so happy. We'd seen them at Christmas and they never looked happier.

My other uncle wasn't saying anything. He sat in his chair with his arms crossed, looking at Uncle Chris. Now that I thought about it, that's how he'd been sitting all night. I think he already knew the news. Bree was on the other side of me texting under the table. It was how she distracted herself during uncomfortable situations.

"Well..." Uncle Chris started. He took a deep breath and avoided everyone's eyes. I looked at him closely and he was looking really shiny. I think he was actually sweating. "She left me."

"Oh dear God, why?" my mom choked out. She took a drink of her wine.

"I don't know if I should be saying this in front of the kids," my uncle said, gesturing towards me and Bree.

"No, they're fine," Uncle Matt finally said. "Let them hear it." He eyed Uncle Chris and everyone could feel the tension. He definitely knew.

"Matt..."

"Like Tom said, spit it out, Chris." Uncle Matt just sounded mad now. This was really unnerving me. We never had family drama. My mom didn't particularly care for Uncle Matt and his wife's "obnoxious" personalities but other than that we never had any issues. I was starting to panic. My foot was tapping rapidly under the table until I felt Bree's hand on my leg, steadying it. I took a deep breath.

"I had an affair, okay?" Uncle Chris gave in.

If our mouths weren't dropped before, they were now. My mom gasped so loud and my dad buried his head in his arms. Bree and I exchanged dumbfounded looks. I looked at Uncle Matt and he still had his arms crossed over his chest. His wife Sarah sat still, staring at the table. She almost looked like a little mouse.

"What girl could be better than Marissa, huh?" Matt accused.

Uncle Chris shot him a dangerous look. "I said I wasn't going to do it like this, Matt," he pleaded.

"No, tell us who she was," my dad pressed on.

"I'm not doing this here. I just came to say we're getting a divorce. It doesn't matter who it was."

"Who was she?" my dad shouted. I felt so helpless. I was watching my dad and uncles shout at each other and all I could do was sit. They kept going back and forth. Uncle Chris didn't want to say who she was, Uncle Matt kept taunting him and my dad just yelled at Uncle Chris to admit it. Bree started looking for her phone again and I pulled mine out, too.

"It wasn't a woman!" Uncle Chris's shout was the loudest yet.

My dad flew out of his chair. My mom was still crying. Uncle Matt took a drink of wine. Bree, Sarah and I just sat there. Nobody said anything. It was the quietest it had been in hours. Did my uncle really just say that? He had an affair with a man? I didn't even know what to think. I thought back to Santana telling me she had cheated with Puck. I really didn't care and I wasn't going to judge her for it, but it's always different when it's family. I think I was mostly just shocked. One minute I had a married uncle and now I had a divorced, possibly gay uncle. "Wow," I whispered to myself.

"Tom, I-" Uncle Chris started, but my dad raised his hand to stop him. He walked out of the dining room without saying a word. My mom followed him.

Uncle Matt stood up.

"You're a bastard, you know that?" Uncle Chris said to him. "I told you I wasn't going to fucking do this now."

Uncle Matt shrugged. "It needed to be said. Now everyone knows what type of man you are." He held his hand out and helped Sarah, who was pregnant, up. "Girls, can you excuse yourselves?"

Bree and I left the dining room quickly. I followed her into her room.

"I'm just..." she started, leaning over her desk. "I'm shocked. How disgusting is that?"

"Disgusting?" I asked.

"Yeah. He's _gay_ now, Britt. He cheated on his wife with a dude. That's so gross." She turned around. I could tell she believed what she was saying by the look on her face. It was the same look my uncle had when he told my other uncle we all knew what type of man he was now.

"It's bad that he cheated on his wife," was all I said. I chose to ignore her gay comments. That's how I got out of talking about things I didn't want to talk about. I only responded to one part. Most people thought I did it because I was dumb and didn't know what I was talking about, but I was just saving myself from an awkward conversation.

"I think he needs to leave. I'm glad he lives in California."

"Jesus, Bree." I had to say something to her. She glared at me for saying Jesus but I didn't care. "It's not like he killed somebody."

"It's just as bad, Brittany. I don't even want to think about what he did." She shook her head and sat down in her desk chair. "We have to pray for him." My sister held her hands up and sighed. She said it like it was the logical thing to do, as if it would just fix him. I snorted.

"You pray the gay away all you want, Bree." I started to leave her room.

"It's _disgusting_." The way she said the word made me cringe. My hand was on her door knob when she said it and I stopped. She sounded so vicious. I had never heard her talk about disliking something this adamantly before. I was taken aback. What she said didn't hurt but it made me hurt for my uncle. I wanted to say something about how she was wrong but I chose to just keep my mouth shut.

I opened my door. I had a lot of pent up energy so I ended up just pacing around in circles for a few minutes before I sat down on the floor by my bed. I don't know why but I burst into tears the moment I sat down. I buried my head into my arms and cried. The whole time I was crying I was trying to think about why I was crying. Nothing bad had happened to me. I thought maybe I was crying over what happened at dinner but I couldn't find a specific reason why. I was a little upset at my uncle's confession but I really didn't care that he was getting a divorce or had slept with a guy. It wasn't any of my business. I thought about what my sister had said and that got to me a little. My uncle hadn't exactly come out to us so it was wrong for my sister to assume he was gay. She had called it disgusting, which is a strong word. I was sad for my uncle that she thought it but I was also sad for her because she was wrong. It really wasn't disgusting. I had gay friends and they're not disgusting. She was just misguided.

My crying finally slowed and I rested my head against my bed. I felt confused. That morning I had been asleep with Santana and now I was crying on my floor while my family was fighting. I didn't know what to do. I wiped my eyes and got up. I wondered who was still here so I ventured back into the dining room. My Uncle Chris was gone, but my parents and Uncle Matt and Sarah were sitting across from each other at the table. I sat next to my mom and she put her arm around me.

"How are mom and dad going to take it?" my mom asked.

"They're not going to find out," my dad answered. He sipped his coffee. "They'll cope with a divorce but this whole gay thing would kill them. No, there's just no way."

"How are _we_ going to cope with this?" Sarah asked. It was the first time I'd heard her speak since she arrived.

"Is there anything we can do? He made a choice and now he has to deal with the consequences." Uncle Matt traced the rim of his cup. He looked tired. I looked at the clock, it was only 8:30.

"How can we just accept this? There has to be something we can do. What if he sees this man again? What if it becomes serious?" Sarah took a deep breath and placed her hands on her stomach. "I don't want this baby to have a gay uncle."

"I don't like this anymore than you do, babe. Trust me, when he first told me I flipped a shit and I told him so."

"I really don't care what he does with his personal life out there in California," my dad said. "But I don't want to hear it or see it. He's my little brother and he's always welcome in my home but he better not bring that shit here."

I wasn't really thinking as I listened to them speak. I was just listening. I thought they were overreacting, I knew they were, but I just listened.

"So is that it?" my mom asked.

"I guess for tonight. We can't really do anything about it. We'll talk about it tomorrow, we're having lunch with mom and dad." My dad exhaled through his mouth. I could tell he didn't want to have dinner with my grandparents, and I didn't blame him. I had no idea how they would handle telling my grandparents all of this.

"I guess we'll head out then," my uncle said. We all stood up. I walked over to Sarah and gave her a hug, which was weird because she was so big. Then I hugged my uncle. "I love you, kid. Sorry you had to hear all of this."

"I love you, too," I responded. I stepped back and watch them all walk towards the door.

When my parents came back, my mom gave me a weak smile. "I guess I was right to worry," she joked. I giggled. I hugged her and then she went into the kitchen.

I dragged myself back into my bedroom and sat down on my bed. Now was one of those times where I wished I had a TV because I wanted something to distract me. I got up to grab my laptop off my desk and brought it over to my bed. I leaned over the side of my bed and pulled up my sheet. Under my bed was where I kept random crap that didn't have a place. I pulled out the top DVD in the stack. This one was She's All That. "Eh," I said to myself as I slid the disk into the drive. It would do.

I watched about twenty minutes before I thought about Santana. My eyes lit up and I searched for my phone. I set my laptop aside and found her name and hit send. I was breaking my no phone rule by calling her but I thought it would be faster than texting.

"Hello?" she sang into my ear. I melted.

"Hi," I smiled. "What's up?" I turned the volume down on my laptop but kept it playing. Paul Walker was so hot.

"Watching your favorite show."

I knew she was kidding and I also knew she was probably watching something on MTV. I took a guess. "Teen Mom?"

I heard her laugh. "Yeah, it's really good. Give it a chance. The kids are so cute." She paused. "So how was dinner?"

"Oh. That." I gave her a play by play of the events that happened tonight. When I got to the part about my sister, I didn't want to say exactly what she had said, so I just told Santana my sister was going to pray for him. She snorted like I had when I heard my sister say it.

Once I finished, I heard her exhale before she responded. "Wow. I bet no one was expecting that."

"Yeah, you're telling me," I laughed. I looked at my laptop. The movie was still playing along but I didn't remember what was happening. I hadn't watched this in years. Santana was right, though. The last thing any of us expected was what Uncle Chris told us. "My parents are freaked out. I think it's kind of funny."

"Why?"

"Because who cares? He's still my uncle so who cares where he's sticking it?"

"Oh my god, ew," she laughed and I did too. But it was the truth. If my uncle had just told me what was happening alone, I really wouldn't have cared. I would have said I was sorry about the divorce but nothing had changed about the way I saw him. My reaction was catapulted by my family's reaction. My dad had yelled, my mom had cried and my sister had said some harsh things. I wasn't used to any of that and that's what freaked me out the most. When I really stopped to think about the issue—my uncle—I found that I didn't feel any differently. When I added my family's reactions, that's when I got confused and emotional. I wish I could tell them to just relax and get over it but I knew I couldn't speak to them that way. I couldn't speak to anyone that way. I knew how I felt and I didn't feel it was my place to tell anyone else how to feel. I got mad when my sister pushed her religious beliefs onto me and I didn't want to be a hypocrite, so I just let her be. Sometimes I would call her out about something, usually I just stayed quiet. That was frustrating but there was nothing I could do about it. "I don't think there's any gay people in my family."

"You sure about that?" If she had been near me I would have winked at her, but she wasn't so I had to use my voice to wink instead.

"Shut up," she said. "You're not allowed to joke about that; it's private." She feigned seriousness but it was obvious she was kidding. I think. I think she probably wouldn't want me joking about it around other people but right now she didn't care.

"But that's what friends do!" I smiled into the phone.

We stayed on the phone for a while. We didn't talk about anything in particular or anything serious, we just talked about whatever came to mind. She told me a little about her family and how her dad worked all the time and I told her about dance and my sister. She made me laugh like no one else ever had. I had tears in my eyes a few times and my stomach would start to hurt.

Santana was actually really funny. She had a sarcastic sense of humor and joked about everything and everyone. A lot of what she said could be misconstrued as mean or her being a bitch but if you knew her, it was obvious she was kidding. I never really ever said anything mean about other people so it would catch me off guard the way she'd talk about someone, but I knew she didn't truly mean a lot of it.

"Oh my god, I do not want to go to work at eight in the morning," I whined into my pillow. That meant I had to get up by at least 6:30, which was too early to function in my book.

"What are you doing after?" she posed. There was rustling on her end. I heard a door open and some Spanish, then a door close and a light _oomph_, which I assumed was her falling onto her bed. "Sorry that was my mom."

"It's okay because I had no idea what you were saying." I was beginning to regret failing Spanish because she spoke it a lot. Yesterday she'd set her phone down on the bed and I noticed half of her text messages were in Spanish. I didn't even know you could type in Spanish on a regular keyboard, didn't it have those weird upside down exclamation points? I shrugged to myself. "Oh, you just reminded me," I groaned. "I'm going on a double date with Sugar." I loved hanging out with Sugar and the guys but I knew in Sugar's mind it wasn't _hanging out_, it was a double date. I could tell her a million times I didn't like Sam that way but she never listened. I actually thought about telling Quinn to go instead. I knew Sam liked her and I thought they would be cute together but I couldn't do that. I'd promised I would go. And also I was not a matchmaker. I'd been trying for a while to get Matt to understand Sugar liked him and in the end all it took was a few shots and they were kissing.

"Double date?" Her voice was surprised and also a little sad. Or mad? I wasn't sure but it wasn't happy and I panicked.

"Oh my god no, no, it's not really a double date. I don't like him that way but Sugar's convinced I do. It's not a real date." I felt so bad. I didn't want her to think I was seeing other people. Not that I was even seeing her, but somehow I felt that I was hers and though we had no label whatsoever other than friends I knew going on a date would hurt her feelings. That was the last thing I wanted. "Don't worry."

She paused and it was like I could hear her calculating a response. She did that a lot, planned her responses. It happened when she was approaching a serious conversation. "I won't." Her voice had a smile that she tried to hide but I heard it anyway. She was relieved I wasn't going on a date.

"Can we hang out afterwards? I'll need something to cheer me up after my _date_," I joked. I guess I wasn't really joking. Hanging out with my best friend wouldn't be depressing, I loved Sugar almost as much as my own sister, but she was exhausting sometimes. Especially since this was a date to her and not to me, I knew it would get tiring. Plus I would take any excuse to see Santana. Actually I didn't even need an excuse. I flat out wanted to see her.

"You can come over whenever. You don't even have to ask," she said. I heard the TV in the background.

"I don't?" I tried to act surprised but pleased at the same time, and inside I was jumping up and down.

"Nope, you're special." I knew she meant it and I wanted to explode. I was special to her. After last night I knew I meant differently to her than everyone else, just like she meant differently to me, but now it was words official. It was supposed to be a joke but it held more meaning to me than anyone, even Santana, would ever know. I was special and I was hers.

"I will hold you to that."

We talked a little longer, until my eyes felt heavy. She wished me sweet dreams and I wished her a sweet night. I was going to her house when my _double date_ was over. Her mom was going to be home so I was finally going to meet her. I'd seen a flash of her when we left this morning but that was it.

After we hung up I pulled my laptop onto my stomach. I pulled up the internet and stared at the homepage. It was Facebook. I had a Facebook profile but I never went on it. I had a lot of notifications and I ignored them. The cursor was over the search bar. I typed in her name. It turns out there were several Santana Lopezes in the world but her name came up first. We actually had more mutual friends than I would have thought, but then we didn't exactly live far. There wasn't much on her page. Her birthday and her high school were listed along with a few pages she'd liked. Teen Mom, Jersey Shore, Bob Marley, Mean Girls. These were all things I knew she liked.

The only photo album that I could see were her profile pictures. She had 15 of them. Over half of them were pictures she took of herself. They all had a bunch of likes and a bunch of comments saying "you're so hot" or "I'm jealous" or "we need to hang out!" The most recent one was from the end of school and she was in her cheerleading uniform with another girl. There were a few pictures of her with random people, and then there were pictures with Quinn. They were towards the end, the oldest pictures she had. Quinn had commented on every single one saying they were hot and everyone should be jealous. She had told Santana she loved her and they were best friends. Santana had responded, telling Quinn she loved her back. It made me want to cry. I was so sad for both of them. They really had been best friends. I tried to imagine a life where Sugar and I had a horrible falling out but I couldn't. Losing a best friend had to be one of the worst feelings someone could feel. I felt bad for Quinn because she had been betrayed and I felt bad for Santana because she had to live with the guilt of knowing it was her fault.

I looked through her pictures one more time. Santana really was hot. She was one of the hottest girls I had ever seen. There was a picture of her in a red bikini and I wanted to die. Part of me couldn't look away and the other part had to because it was a huge turn on. My breathing hitched and I quickly exited out of her pictures. I was about to add her when I remembered I told her I was going to bed. If for whatever reason she was online I didn't want her thinking I lied to her. I'd add her later.

It then occurred to me to look at Quinn's Facebook to see if she had pictures of Santana. So I did. Quinn had way more pictures and Santana was in a lot of them. I realized I had seen these pictures of her and Santana before. I had even liked the most recent one in her profile pictures, which was from over a year ago. I felt sort of dumb for not recognizing Santana but the pictures were all old anyway.

I shut my laptop and set it on the floor. I heard a noise so I froze while leaning over my bed. I heard it again. It sounded like something was bumping inside my closet. I got up and opened the door. My cat came out and started meowing like crazy. He ran over to my bed. "What the hell, Lord Tubbington? You know better than to go in my closet. There's no drugs in there." I laid down on my bed and started petting him. My cat was stupid, but I still loved him, even if he was fat as a cow.

I knew I had to wake up early so I made myself tired. I was lucky and could pretty much fall asleep whenever I wanted. I set an alarm on my phone and laid on my stomach. I stared at my wall for a while before I fell asleep. Sometimes I would just stare into the darkness and eventually I would fall asleep. It had been an incredibly long day. What happened to dinner felt like a lifetime ago when it had only been about three hours since it happened. I hoped my Uncle Chris was alright, but I knew he was. This would blow over eventually. I figured my sister was probably praying for him right now. I rolled my eyes at the dark. I didn't really pray and I certainly wasn't going to pray for the things Bree did, but I prayed that tomorrow would be better. For my whole family. I prayed for a calm lunch with my grandparents and no stupid remarks from my other uncle. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in the middle of it.


	7. Cheesecake

**A/N: Yep, I'm terrible and awful and I know but writing is just so hard sometimes and plus I'm really mad at Santana right now so writing nice things about her has been a challenge. I'll try to update again soon. I just work a lot and spend most of my free time reblogging Glee gifs. I hope you understand that. But anyway, review if you read it :) my tumblr is ari-graynor . tumblr . com if you're into that.**

* * *

I had twenty minutes left. I could do twenty minutes of anything at this point. Quinn was taking over for me. I knew she would get here early. Quinn was reliable like that. One time we were going to get lunch and she got there before I did, and I got there fifteen minutes early.

Right on cue, the door jingled and in walked Quinn. Work was slow, because it was midday. Once it got later in the day it would pick up. During the summer, every night was busy. Nobody was in school and everybody was hanging out. Coffee is like a thing, I guess. It's a thing people do and lucky for us, we make good coffee that is cheaper than Starbucks. Isn't caffeine a drug, anyway? That's why people consume so damn much of it.

I got lost in my train of thought and Quinn was giving me a funny look. "Nevermind," she laughed, knowing I hadn't paid attention to her question. I gave her an apologetic smile and she went into the back.

"Hi, Quinn," I smiled as she came back out. Let's try this again.

"Hey," Quinn gave me a brief smile and started fiddling with one of the espresso machines. I watched her. This was the first time we had seen each other since she started crying a few nights ago. I wanted to say something to make it all better and make her not sad. I could tell she was sad, but I had no idea what to say. "What are you up to today?" she offered after a slightly awkward silence.

"I'm going to get lunch with Sugar and some guys," I replied. "Nothing too fancy. What about you?"

"I'm working," she smiled, like it was obvious. Of course it was obvious, I just wasn't thinking. "Sugar said it was a date?"

I frowned. Of course she did. "No, it's not a date. Well, for her it's a date. For me it's a friendship lunch."

"A friendship lunch?" she giggled.

"A friendship lunch," I nodded. "No kissing or romance or longing stares across a table."

She nodded approvingly. "Anything going on tonight? Anymore big parties?" I was surprised she had said that, considering she didn't want me to go to the last one.

"No but I am going to Santana's house later," I blurted out. I regretted it. I told myself I wouldn't talk about Santana around Quinn, unless Quinn was the one who brought it up. But it slipped. And Quinn's face fell slightly.

She didn't let it stay like that, though. Almost immediately she plastered a smile on her face and walked over to the display case, pretending to check on the food. "That sounds nice."

"Quinn," I said. I knew she was being fake nice. I hated that. I would rather her not say anything at all than pretend to be okay.

"Hmm?"

A momentary punch of courage took over, and I blurted out, "Quinn, Santana told me why you're not friends anymore."

Quinn froze. I heard her sigh and she stood up. She held her head up and smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was a sad one. "What did she tell you?" she asked quietly. Nearly everything Quinn said was quiet, she was a soft-spoken person, but she was all but whispering now.

"She told me she slept with Puck while you were dating," I told her. I drummed my fingers on the counter lightly. I was supposed to be clocking out now but it could wait. Deep inside me, I was hitting myself for saying that to her. I shouldn't have said it, it was stupid to bring it up now, especially after I told myself I wouldn't.

Quinn's face remained stoic as she licked her upper lip. She didn't say anything for a minute. "Is that all she told you?" Her face didn't change at all.

I nodded. I really didn't know what else to say.

Quinn smiled again and shook her head. She let out a small laugh. "Of course." She picked up a blender and took it to the sink. I checked the counter to make sure no one was waiting then followed her.

"What does that mean?" _Of course_ that's all Santana told me. Was Quinn implying Santana had lied? Quinn was being confusing. I didn't think Santana had any reason to lie to me. I guess she didn't exactly owe me anything. But after all the personal things she had already told me about herself, why would she suddenly lie about this?

I hadn't realized Quinn was staring at me. I gazed down at her, her face hadn't softened. "It doesn't mean anything," she said. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I think it meant something, Quinn," I said. I was beginning to feel frustrated. Quinn played this game a lot. She would say something and then deny it and then she would crack. I just wanted her to crack already.

She hadn't stopped looking at me. "What Santana told you is true. She slept with her pregnant best friend's boyfriend." Ouch. That made _me_ feel bad and I didn't even do it. So, Santana hadn't lied. But Quinn was keeping something from me. I wasn't super intuitive but it was obvious.

"What aren't you telling me?"

Quinn ignored my question and went to take an older lady's order. I just leaned back against the counter, staring at the ground. I probably looked like a bad employee. I didn't move while Quinn made the drink. There was silence except for the sound of the blender. I really shouldn't have said anything.

The lady got her drink and walked out. Quinn remained at the counter, her arms stretched out with her hands supporting her. Her head was down. I decided to take a step towards her.

"I could have forgiven her," she whispered. I wouldn't have been able to hear her if I hadn't moved closer. I stood there, not knowing what to say.

"Why didn't you?" I eventually asked. I couldn't really blame her for not forgiving Santana. I probably would have because I forgive everyone in the end, but I could understand why someone wouldn't.

I got the creeping sense that we were encroaching on highly private territory. This felt like something I shouldn't be hearing. I know I was the one who brought it up, but suddenly I wanted to back down and forget the entire thing. I know what happened and I didn't need to hear anymore. Quinn turned around.

She looked like she wanted to cry again, but was holding it back. I felt terrible because I had probably ruined her entire day by bringing this up. I was an idiot. I hated that I couldn't control what I said sometimes. Usually I could but sometimes words just poured out of me and I couldn't stop them. It was an awful quality.

Quinn shook her head. "Please be careful around her, Brittany. She didn't get her reputation for nothing."

"She's a good person, Quinn." Even though I barely knew her, I felt the need to defend her. Santana gave me crazy good feelings and she kissed me and even though she did a bad thing to someone she loved, I was going to stick up for her. I felt it inside me that she wasn't a bad person. I just knew she wasn't.

"Santana hurt the person she loved." Quinn's voice was low. I suddenly felt cold. I had never seen her speak about someone so harrowingly. "I can't tell you not to hang out with her. I don't know, maybe she's different. Maybe she changed back again. I can't keep up with her anymore." Instead of saying anything else, I nodded and went to go clock out.

I really shouldn't have said anything. I had no idea what Quinn was talking about anymore. I believe Santana changed. I don't think she would ever do what she did again. Is that what Quinn even meant? I rolled my eyes at all the confusion and punched out.

"Have fun today," Quinn smiled sweetly at me as I walked past her on my way out. I smiled and waved. She was so confusing and I walked away with a strange look on my face.

Quinn and Santana had their fight and I shouldn't put myself in the middle of it. That's what I was doing, wasn't I? Putting myself in the middle. I sighed. It wasn't my place to talk about it, but something inside me needed to know what had happened. I guess Quinn was still just angry at Santana. She had every right to be. Santana never said anything bad about Quinn. I ran my fingers through my hair a few times, looking at myself in the rear view window.

Quinn could be so damn cryptic and it drove me nuts. I had no idea what she meant when she started talking about Santana changing. I decided to just give up. If Quinn brought it up, Quinn brought it up. I just wished I was in her brain so I could know what she meant. Quinn and Santana, the two most confusing women I knew. I guess that's why they were best friends.

**xXXx**

"What did you do last night?" Sam asked me. He was sitting with his arms crossed and he had slumped down in the chair. Sugar and Matt were laughing about something and she was stealing his french fries. I adjusted my body slightly so I was facing Sam instead of those two. I shrugged.

"Dumb, family drama. We had this big dinner that blew up and now everyone's mad at each other." I took a sip of my water. It was warm outside but we were sitting in the shade. The heat was making me a little tired.

"That sounds like every night in my house," he responded, giving me a small smirk.

I liked Sam. Obviously not in the way _some_ people would think, but he was a good person. I remember meeting Sam in the seventh grade. He was new and quiet and didn't make a whole lot of friends that year. We sat next to each other in science and we copied each other's homework every day. That was probably a bad idea in hindsight because neither one of us was all that smart. In the eighth grade he tried out for the basketball team and became super popular. He and I were never that close but we shared the same group of friends all through high school. I'd always found him easy to talk to. He didn't think too hard about anything, like me. I appreciated that.

"It worries me a little," I admitted honestly.

"Why?"

"I don't like it when I can't predict the outcome of stuff." I furrowed my eyebrows and stared at the table. I took a breath. Right now my family was having lunch together at a restaurant right down the street. I wondered how it was going. The thought crossed my mind to just coincidentally pop in the restaurant with my friends to see what was happening but that sounded ridiculous. I tried to push the issue from my mind. I had my own opinion so why should I care what the rest of my family thinks? But then how many times had I told myself to stop caring and had it failed? I tossed a french fry in my mouth.

Sam and I talked a little bit more until Sugar finally acknowledged our presence again. "Brittany, what are you doing tonight?"

I smiled. "I'm going to Santana's house." I was already warm, but I felt my body slowly warm up even more. That's what happened when I thought about Santana.

"Didn't you meet her at the party?" Matt asked and I nodded.

"She's replacing me and I hate her," Sugar pouted. I rolled my eyes. Sugar did this every time I made a new friend. She would act all dramatic—what's new, though?—and see it as the end of our friendship. Usually in the end I'd always end up back at her house. She was the only really constant thing in my life. I've had close friends come and go but Sugar was always the one who stayed.

"No one could ever replace you," I said, smiling. She was crazy and annoying about it, but deep down I appreciated how much she loved me. I think everyone needs a best friend or at least someone to love them the way Sugar and I love each other.

Sugar gave me a huge smile and popped another of Matt's french fries in her mouth. "I have to go to the bathroom." She stood up, and I knew that was my cue to stand up, too. Sugar was an avid participant of "girls rules" so she always insisted I go to the bathroom with her. I followed her into the restaurant and towards the bathroom.

"When are you going to Santana's?" she asked. She was looking at herself in the mirror. The bow in her hair was crooked and she was focusing all of her attention on making it straight. I absentmindedly zoned out for a second watching her, until I caught her eyes staring at me in the mirror.

"Uh, whenever," I replied. I tugged at my top that kept riding up. It reached just below the hem of my jeans but it liked to rise up and usually showed a good inch of my stomach.

"God you've gotten tan."

"You're one to talk. I know you have buckets of that tanning lotion hidden under your bed."

"Shut up," Sugar laughed and slapped my arm. "How is Sam?"

"Sugar, you have spent the past two hours with Sam, you know how he is."

She huffed at me and lowered her head. "How _is Sam_?" she asked again, emphasizing the last two words. I blinked before I caught on. Obviously she knew how Sam was, she just wanted to know how Sam and I were.

"Sugar..." I started. This would be my thousandth attempt at telling her I wasn't interested. My hope was low but there was no Sam and I to tell her about. "I don't like Sam." Being blunt was the best way to go, right? Honesty is the best policy, they say.

Her eyes narrowed on me. I was almost half a foot taller than her so she was looking up at me. I think she hated being so short when I was so tall because, in theory, it looked like I was more dominant. At least that's what she told me once when we were younger, after I had a mini growth spurt. "Why not?" Her face changed from angry to pouty and I wanted to laugh. "This is so perfect. They're best friends and we're best friends and if we dated it would be perfectly wonderful. Why are you screwing this up for me?"

I laughed loudly. I knew she was kidding but she was just so dramatic. She acted as if her whole world was going to fall apart if I didn't date Sam. "I'm sorry," I told her. "He's just a friend. He's cute, but just a cute friend."

She stuck her lip out but I knew she believed me. "Can you at least pretend to date him for me?"

"Sugar!" I laughed in disbelief. "I think he likes Quinn." I hadn't thought about that yet. If I told her that he liked Quinn, knowing Sugar, she would make it her mission to set them up. And I was right. Her eyes lit up. She smiled at me and I smiled back, following her out of the bathroom.

**xXXx**

Sugar was on the phone arguing with someone, I'm pretty sure it was our boss and I'm pretty sure she was getting called in to work. They probably would have called me but I worked this morning and Sugar had been off today. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. It was almost 4 pm. Sam was talking to Matt so I sat down on a bench. We had walked over to a park down the street after lunch. I had a text from Quinn complaining about something at work, a text from Puck asking if I could fill in for him at work (_sorry_, I had replied,_ I worked this morning_) and one from Santana asking how my "date" was going. I told her I was pretty sure I had convinced Sugar I wasn't interested in Sam so it was a success. She responded with a smiley face.

I felt someone sit down next to me. I turned my head to see it was Sam. Matt had walked back over to Sugar and they were laughing. I wondered why it had taken them so long to get together. "Does she have to work?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I probably should head home anyway."

"How come?" I asked.

"I'm babysitting my little brother and sister so my parents can go to this work thing." I watched his face. He didn't look happy about this but he didn't look particularly upset about it, either.

"That's really nice of you," I told him. "When I was 12 my parents started letting me and my sister stay home without a babysitter, but she's only three years younger than me so it's a little different."

He shrugged. "I do what I can to help, you know? I don't have a job or anything."

"You can apply at my work!" I started to get excited. "Then you can see me and Sugar and Quinn all the time."

He thought about it for a minute. I studied his facial expression to try to read his mind. "I'll think about it," he finally said.

"I'll be your reference." I smiled at him. If Sam got a job at my work it would put him closer to Quinn and also me, I liked working with people I knew. Whenever I got stuck working with people I didn't know too well, I hated it. They weren't as fun as Sugar or Quinn or even Puck.

Sugar came over pouting and sat down on the other side of me. "I have to go to work," she whined, resting her head on my shoulder.

I patted the top of her head. "Quinn's working, so it won't be so bad," I tried to make her feel better. I hated getting called into work so I knew how she felt. "You could talk to her...about _things_."

"What _things_, Brittany? Quinn is as boring as a freakin' brick." Sugar stared at me and I had to stifle a laugh. Quinn wasn't boring, but she wasn't as effervescent as Sugar which made her boring in Sugar's eyes.

"Thiiiiiings," I drew the word out. I moved my eyes over to Sam, who wasn't paying any attention. I was hoping she would take the hint. Sometimes, she was as dumb as she thought I was.

"Oh, things," Sugar nodded knowingly, a devilish smile creeping onto her face. "We have lots of things to talk about indeed."

At least she was finally off my back about Sam. I smiled at her and nodded back, still pushing this morning's conversation with Quinn out of my mind.

**xXXx**

I parked on the street in front of her house. I stared out my window for a minute, collecting my thoughts. The sun was beginning to set and was at that pinkish stage. It looked really pretty tonight. I had never been one for scenery but I really had to admire the way the sky changed colors like that and could go from blue to pink to black in an hour.

I grabbed my purse from the passenger's seat and got out. I walked around my car and was tempted to cut across on the grass to get to her door, but the grass was so perfect and green that I couldn't bring myself to trample all over it. I walked with one foot in front of the other until I reached her door. Santana had texted me when she'd came to my house and I had gone outside to meet her. Most people did that, I had noticed, but I didn't. I think they did it because they were nervous or shy but I had no problem going up to anyone's house and ringing a doorbell.

After I rang it I took a step back and waited for someone to answer. Santana knew I was coming. My mind drifted a little. It was almost 5 pm and I was feeling hungry again. She would probably feed me but I didn't like to assume. Though I still knew she would. I was about to ring the doorbell again before a woman answered. It wasn't Santana. My first thought was that she was Santana's mom but she didn't really look like the woman I had seen the other morning. She was taller and her hair was darker and plus she was a lot younger. Didn't Santana have a maid?

"You're here for Santana?" the woman asked. She had an accent but not a strong one. I nodded. "Her room is upstairs. Do you want me to show you?" She moved away from the door and let me come inside.

"I know where it is, but thank you," I said politely. She smiled at me. I got a good look at her before she turned away. She looked like she was only a few years older than me and she was very pretty. I thought about her job cleaning Santana's house. I liked to clean but I couldn't imagine cleaning up someone else's messes for a living, especially someone like Santana who threw lots of parties and trashed her house. I hope they paid her well.

I wasn't sure Santana knew I was here so I took my time walking up the stairs. This time I walked up the other side. Santana and I had come up this side before but I never had time to look at the pictures on the wall. There were more family pictures instead of ones of just Santana. A lot of the pictures were family vacations and older pictures of her parents. Their wedding picture was at the top of the staircase and I swear Santana is her mom's twin, only taller. Her mom looked stunning on her wedding day. I smiled. She looked so happy, too.

Santana's door was shut and I wasn't really sure what to do now. Ringing her doorbell was easy but this was her bedroom door. Obviously I couldn't just barge in because who knows what she's doing in there but being her friend, it felt kind of weird to knock. I knocked anyway.

"Whaaaat," Santana sighed from the other side. I heard some muffled sounds before she opened the door. "Oh it's you!" She threw her arms around me and pulled me into her room, quickly shutting the door behind her.

"It's me!" I said, still hugging her. She pulled away from me and smiled. I was so happy to see her. She walked over to her bed and laid down on her back. I watched her for a second. She was wearing shorts and a white tank top and her hair was up. Obviously, she had tried really hard to impress me today. I laid down next to her. She rolled onto her side to look at me. We stared at each other without saying anything. She eventually started laughing and so did I. "What's uuup?" I asked, still laughing.

"As you can see I was very busy before you got here," she said, waving her hand around her room. I looked at the floor. The lights were pretty dim, there was food and clothes and other stuff everywhere and she was watching MTV.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you, I can go if you want to get back to that?" I started to get off the bed.

"NO!" Santana shouted and pulled me back down onto the bed. "You just got here. Teen Mom 2 hasn't even started yet."

"There's a second one?" I asked her. My mouth stayed open.

She scrunched her face. "You didn't know that?"

"I don't watch TV, Santana," I said, hitting her arm. "Of course I don't know that."

"It's just as good as the first one, just with more drama."

"Oh, goodie," I said unenthusiastically. She giggled. She was still holding my arm and I didn't try to pull away. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Did you have fun today?" Santana let go of my arm and used that arm to prop her head up. I fell into the same position.

"Yeah, it was fun. I like hanging out with my friends," I said. She was looking at me but didn't respond right away. "But I'm having more fun now," I added quietly.

Her smile in response was soft and shy. She didn't meet my eyes but I knew she wasn't avoiding me. "So what do you want to do?" she asked. Her eyes finally met mine and she smiled again. Each time I saw her she smiled more and more. I liked it when she smiled. She had pretty teeth and her whole face glowed when she did it. I had a thought before I answered her. I wondered if she thought I was pretty the way I thought she was. I scrunched my face for a second before remembering to answer her.

"I just want..." I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. Nothing in particular or something specific would have made me equally as happy. "Whatever you want to do," I finished.

She sighed. "I was hoping you weren't going to be that person."

I frowned. I thought she was serious and I felt a little sad. "What person?" I didn't want to be something she didn't like. I bit my lip.

"That person who makes me decide on everything!" She watched me and could tell I thought she was serious so her expression instantly changed. "No, Britt, I'm kidding." I stared at her, trying to tell if she was just saying that to make me feel better or if she actually meant it. "I'm seriously kidding, I'm just being a jerk." She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. "I like being in charge," she said with a wink then got off her bed.

I bit my lower lip to hide my smile and turned over so I could watch where she was going. She walked over to her closet and opened the door. I peered inside it from my position on the bed and all I could see was a shit ton of clothes. But I wasn't surprised. Santana came across as one of those girls who had a lot of money and spend a lot of that money on clothes. "Hmmm," I heard her say as she looked through her shirts. "I hate all of these." She sighed and turned to look on the other side. I just watched her in silence. She finally decided on a blue tank top and pulled down a pair of jeans. I knew she was about to change and I didn't want to be weird and just stare at her, so I pulled my phone out. I noticed she glanced over at me before she pulled her shorts down. I tried not to look at her, even though I had seen her almost naked before. I wasn't paying any attention when she chucked her tank top at me. I laughed and tossed it back at her as she put her other shirt on. Her bra was black and majorly pushed up her boobs. But I pretended not to notice.

"Let's go!" she announced, grabbing her keys off of her dresser and walking towards the door.

"Santana..." She looked at me. "Aren't you going to fix your hair?" I gave her a frown.

"Oh you are so full of it!" She walked over and tried to punch my arm but I ducked and squealed. We both laughed and I ran out the door because she was still trying to hit me.

"So where are we going?" I asked as we walked down the stairs.

"Foooood," she replied shortly and passed me at the bottom of the stairs, heading towards the garage. I knew she was going to feed me.

**xXXx**

My drink was empty so to get the waitress's attention I started slurping it really loudly, hoping she would turn around. Santana just ate another breadstick and typed on her phone. Finally the waitress looked my way. I smiled at her and she walked over.

"I want cheesecake," Santana said without looking up.

"Did you want just a slice or a whole one?" The waitress, whose name was Mary Jane I noticed, looked a bit taken aback. She seemed like a shy person.

"The whole thing." Santana stared at her without saying anything else. The waitress nodded and took my cup to fill it up with more water. I refused to drink soda and Santana had ordered water so I did the same.

"You sure know how to get what you want," I joked.

She shrugged. "They don't really listen unless you act more important than they are." I wondered who she meant by 'they,' because there are a lot of people in the world her statement could have been applicable to. "Plus people respond to fear."

I stared at her for a second but I realized she was kidding and we both laughed. She had a point though. Mary Jane probably would have brought Santana a free cheesecake if she had said anything else. As nice as she was to me, Santana was terrifying to some other people. I was generally nice to strangers but she was flat out rude to a lot of them. It didn't bother me because my sister was the same way. My sister felt entitled, though. I wasn't sure what Santana felt.

"Her name is Mary Jane," I told Santana.

"Who?" She made a face.

"The waitress. The waitress's name is Mary Jane."

Santana just looked at me with that same look on her face but after a moment we both started laughing really hard. It was a stupid thing to laugh at and incredibly immature but it was really funny in that moment. I tried to stop laughing when Mary Jane brought me another water but I just laughed even harder. I attempted to take a drink but as soon as I did I heard a splash and a shriek. Santana had spilled her glass of water onto her lap and I laughed so hard I spit my water out in her direction which made her yell louder. We were both still laughing and now she was yelling and crying and I had water coming out of my nose. Santana, not even bothering to dry herself off, buried her head in her arms and tried to pull herself together. I could hear her taking deep breaths. I covered my mouth with my hand and tried to do the same. Everyone was looking at us.

After a moment Santana lifted her head. "Can we go?" she pleaded. I knew she was embarrassed but at the same time found the whole thing hilarious. It was cute.

I nodded and stood up. She threw some money down on the table. Her jeans and the bottom half of her shirt were soaked. She frowned at me and I laughed. She reached for my hand and I led her out of the restaurant, trying my best to block her. I had almost stopped laughing, but I still had giggle fits every few seconds.

We got into her car and all it took was one look before we were laughing again. Eventually we calmed down. Santana gave me the most pitiful look. "I'm all wet." She looked like she wanted to cry.

I bit my lip to suppress the giggling. "I am so sorry. And you want to know the worst part?"

"What?" She was reaching around in the backseat for something, and sat back down with a jacket over her lap.

"I really wanted that cheesecake."

**xXXx**

I laid on her bed in the dim light and closed my eyes. The room was silent and I could hear the water running from her shower down the hall. It was peaceful. Her bed was so much more comfortable than mine. Her bed was thousands of dollars comfortable. Mine was free labor and three hundred for the mattress comfortable. I wondered how long her shower would take. I hadn't exactly tried to hurry when I took a shower with her in my room so I didn't expect her to.

As I laid on her bed, breathing in her scent, I let a few thoughts ease into my mind that I had been successfully pushing away for the past two days. Santana had kissed me. Santana had told me she kissed a girl, romantically liked them, then kissed me in a way that was different than any other kiss I'd ever experienced.

Ever since I met her I had tried not to think too hard about where all of this was going. She made my heart melt, I wanted to kiss her, she had a nice ass, those were all just facts I'd accepted and didn't make a big deal about. The thing about me was I didn't make a big deal out of _anything_. It was kind of like my secret weapon. If I seemed uninterested or acted like important things weren't a big deal then people didn't expect a whole lot out of me. And that was a big relief. I'm not too good with emotions and feelings. Pushing them away was much easier. So that's what I did. Like with my uncle, if I just acted like it wasn't a big deal then it wasn't a big deal, right? Yes I'm attracted to Santana, but so what? It wasn't a _big deal_.

Normally I wouldn't think twice about someone kissing me then not saying anything about it. It had actually happened to me several times before with several friends and also strangers. But, I was really starting to realize, Santana was different. She made me think about questions I didn't have answers to. So as I laid there, I wondered if she was ever going to bring the other night up. Should I bring it up? No, she did it so it's her thing and it's for her to bring up. I tried to tell myself that so maybe my brain would shut up. I was starting to regret allowing myself to think about it in the first place. I hated not having answers. This is why I simplified my life as much as possible.

I shook my head into her pillow. She smelled so damn good. I just wanted to lay there forever. I think I would have if Santana said I could. I heard the water shut off. That was a fairly short shower. I suddenly wanted her back in the room. I just wanted to be near her. God, what was this girl doing to me? I screamed into her pillow, which made me feel a little better. I hoped nobody had heard me.

Santana opened her door and I erased every single thought I just had. Her towels were deep purple, like royalty purple. Santana was like a queen so I found it fitting. She dropped her clothes on the floor by her dresser. "Did the water wash away the water?"

She turned her head to look at me over her shoulder and glared. I just smiled innocently at her. I could see she was holding her underwear and trying to figure out how to get dressed. I fought the urge to smile. I remember my trouble with that the other day. I could hear her sigh. She eventually stopped sifting through her drawer and pulled her underwear on under her towel, then pulled her shorts on before dropping her towel. She was wearing the same ones from earlier, only she was pulling on a different shirt. Her back was super tan and looked soft, which seemed like a weird compliment but it was true. She whipped around to look at me and opened her mouth to speak.

"Yes I'm staying over," I boldly responded before she even said anything. By the way she tried to hide her smile, I knew that's what she wanted to ask. She tossed me something to change into. I changed while she went back into the bathroom. Her door was open and I could smell the scents floating in from her bathroom. I wanted to die. And I wanted to steal her soap, because it was way better smelling than mine. She came back in and closed the door.

"I'm tired," she yawned, leaning against the door. It wasn't very late, but I was actually feeling pretty tired too. "Do you want me to turn on a movie? You can pick, I won't make you watch anymore of my shows." She offered me a smile.

I took a breath. "I like your shows," I admitted quietly, smiling at the ground. I liked them because of her, I could actually care less about the shows.

"Come with me." She opened her door and I followed her out. At the end of the hall was a closet and I found it was filled with movies. Literally, hundreds of movies. "How am I supposed to pick just one?" My jaw stayed dropped. I had never seen so many movies in one persons house before.

"These," she said pointing to the top shelf, "are my favorites." Part of her was trying to be helpful but the other part just wanted me to pick a movie she liked. I could tell by the glint in her eye. I perused her shelf carefully and decided on the last movie. 21 Jump Street. I saw it in theaters and had watched it with my sister when it came out on DVD. It made me laugh both times I'd seen it so I knew it was a safe bet.

"I approve," she said, taking the DVD from my hands. I closed her door and crawled into her bed. It felt like I was getting more tired by the minute. I think I was. And I think Santana was too because she kept yawning. Once the movie was in and got laid down next to me. At first she was on her side and there was a good amount of space between us. She noticed it, and I noticed it, so she rolled onto her back and I moved closer.

I propped my head up on my arm, but then decided to rest my head on the pillow, my arm still underneath me. We were looking at each other. "I love this movie," I told her.

"Good," she giggled. "Because you picked it."

We were both tired and quiet during the movie. I couldn't help but laugh and I think Santana laughed more at my laughing than the movie. Eventually she turned onto her side. I wouldn't have thought twice about this any other time except she pulled my arm with her. She didn't say a word to me as she positioned my arm over her stomach. I moved closer. I was right up against her. Her hair was wet but I didn't even care. A few seconds later she placed her hand on top of mine and held it. I smiled into her.

We watched the rest of the movie like this. I was too comfortable to even consider moving, and thank god I didn't need to pee. Once it was over she turned the TV off. Her bedside lamp was the only light source. Santana lightly squeezed my hand. I don't know what made me do it, but I suddenly kissed her neck, right behind her ear. I could feel her shudder because we were so close. Neither of us said anything.

"Do it again," she whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear her. But I kissed her neck again. This time longer, and deeper. I didn't want to pull away. Her body turned towards me but my arm stayed draped across her. I knew she wanted to say something. Her eyes were searching again. We were so close. She opened her mouth to speak and at first nothing came out. "I'll get you another cheesecake."

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from laughing in her face. But we both ended up laughing softly anyway. "Don't worry about it," I said honestly.

She smiled, but her eyes were still searching. I was patient and waited for her to find the words to say what she wanted to say. "Brittany?" I hummed softly in response. "I like spending time with you," she told me slowly. She was whispering.

I didn't really know what to say back. I knew she meant so much more than what she said, but for her, saying that to me was everything. I wasn't sure anything I could say would mean as much. But my simple "and I like spending time with you, too" seemed to be more than enough for her. I remember what she told me the night we met, about how lonely she felt and how not many people spent a lot of time with her, and realized that maybe me saying it back was the best thing I could have ever told her.

Her lips pressed against my cheek, then moved towards my mouth. Her hand rested gently against my cheek as our lips pressed together. My heart exploded. This kiss wasn't as long as passionate as our first one, but it was soft and sweet and made me melt all the same. I knew she was about to turn over to go to sleep so I quickly pressed my lips against hers again. I didn't want her to go, even though she wasn't going anywhere. I could feel her breathing stop. I kissed her for a long minute, pulling her body into mine. I ran my hand down her back. When our lips let go, she pressed her forehead against mine. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing softly. I brought my lip into my mouth, trying to control my insides that felt like they were on a rollercoaster. Her hand grazed my cheek and my jaw and she looked right into my eyes. I gave her the softest smile I could manage, which she returned with one more kiss.

She rolled back over to turn the light off. We were laying like we were before, with my arm across her stomach and my body pressed up against hers. I breathed her in and closed my eyes. I pulled her as close to me as possible and felt her hum quietly. She was happy. And I was happy. And being as close to her as I could be was probably the best feeling I'd ever felt. She held onto my arm and pulled the blanket over us. I kissed her neck one last time before I fell asleep.


End file.
